The Coaching Moment: Many managers and leaders have a finish line somewhere in their heads that describes what success looks like, feels like and sounds like.

To the exceptional ones, this picture is a vivid one. Unfortunately, when they get to that picture in real life, they are often disillusioned and feel empty.

The shift that brings relief from this endless chase is the shift from seeking success to seeking significance.

Thomas, a sales executive in one of the financial houses, asked his coach to help him achieve success in terms of goals and business objectives as well as in personal life significance. He wanted an inner connection to joy.

The coach checked if he had a life purpose that he could articulate into practical terms and behaviours. He discovered that he had a huge reservoir of energy and passion for life with which he could work. The driving beliefs of constant personal renewal coupled with regular review created a life of regular recommitment, which in turn developed his self-governance. This was a great foundation to work from.

Success or failure is always by design.

Leaders and managers who get this right live with a keen sense of well-defined purpose.

Steven Covey, in his book First Things First, shares his mission: "To live, to learn to love and leave a legacy." Can you state your own life mission in one succinct sentence? Exceptional leaders seem to have the meaningful life well defined. Meaningful work is not often defined by the work itself. Three workers who were building a cathedral all had differing views on what they were doing, but the one who said "I am creating a place where folks can experience peace and find God" understood meaningful work. What makes your work meaningful? Is it greater than your own self?

Barbara, a national service customer manager, said that she associated with people who gave her energy and positivity. It requires diplomacy and persistence to network with people who give you a sense of power and energy. "The inner beliefs that drive my life are a core source of energy to my life. I often take time out to discover what they mean, are doing for me and to me and how I need to amend those that are hindering my progress."

In a similar way, Martha has what she terms "her life board members". They are friends who share and listen, challenge and ask questions, sometimes the difficult ones too, and respond to her reports of how she is progressing or not. "This accelerates results while reducing effort and helps to keep the main thing the main thing."

To open yourself in this way, you will need personal maturity; it is definitely not for sissies! Your confidence will grow at a phenomenal pace as you learn to tell the truth about successes and failures. Openness will take you to another level in your interpersonal relationships and your assertiveness will grow exponentially.

Shelly, an executive PA, added the fact that she needed some stakeholders to her portfolio to increase her value to the organisation. She chose people of influence and those who were genuinely interested in her as a person to her list and networked and associated with them. Her life was never the same after that. She was coached to manage the flow momentum and pacing of these relationships and, like tides, handled them and their impact in her life. It was up to her to maintain the health of each relationship. She decided to attract, be creative and work effortlessly, to be happy and empathetic rather than avoid issues and challenges, become difficult, project a scarcity mentality, be sad and negative and self-centred. In short, she decided to serve others. Within a short space of time, she was promoted to assistant regional sales manager in her company.

Paul and Thabo, who both benefited from coaching for career success, summed it up as follows: "Use and ask for feedback on a regular basis so that there is a healthy and conscious understanding of where one needs to pay particular attention; be healthy and eat like a champion rather than junk food all the time; stay sharp in terms of creative ideas, thinking styles and with trends and news; be in shape overall and live to the full while not being afraid to improve your skills; audit your attitudes and mind frames that others experience every day; resolve disputes privately and keep lines open and clear; keep your reputation intact and spotless; become a champion learner and learn from as many people and situations as you can; integrate what you learn and stay focused on clarity of outcomes. The best excuse will never override the impact of bad results in the minds of management and shareholders."

Robert Burns, the 18th-century Scottish poet, wrote: "O wad some power the giftie gie us to see oursel's as others see us, it wad from many a blunder free us."

Have you identified a personal life and business coach who can help you see you? How about registering for a Calibrate interactive coaching day process that will take you on this journey? Contact the writer for dates and venues.

Are you rowing your boat in circles?

• Do you have a life purpose statement of intent that defines what you will focus on and be and become throughout your life?
• What are your main goals for life and business that you are clear about right now?
• What makes your work meaningful?
• Have you planned in your diary how you are going to revitalise, renew and review your personal development plan over the next five years or so?
• What are the perceived un-met needs you see in your company, company's service delivery and customers? How does this gap equate into a business opportunity for you?
• Who are the team/board members with whom you want to share your journey? List them and approach them, set up ground rules and begin to experience a new level of maturity in relations.
• How will you monitor and evaluate your progress in terms of measurable time lines, road signs, and milestones? Identify measuring instruments and align your diary accordingly.
• What is your action plan in terms of reputation management in your organisation and within your network/social network? Create the plan and weave it into your diary and self-management.
• Have you identified your top 10 stakeholders that have influence and connections that can help you to become far more visible in the organisation? Plan set times with them.
• Have you identified the hurdles that can trip you up along the career path and have you discovered how to overcome each one? Have you devised a plan of action for these to become stepping stones rather than hurdles?
• Have you clearly defined where you take yourself and your work for granted? Create a self-development plan to enhance your skills to a higher level of excellence and output.
• Have you positioned yourself in the flow of communication and do you allow the right kind of communication to become part of your future intentions and plans? How are you positioning yourself to be trusted?
• Are you rowing your boat with both arms in balance or are you allowing just one arm to do all the work of rowing your life in circles?