So there I was, having lunch with Suze Orman. Okay, me and about 100 other journalists at a press conference.

But I did sit at her table, which was a bit awkward since I've never watched her on television or read any of her books (though I do now own an autographed copy of Women & Money).

Orman agrees the technicalities of money are the same if you are a man or a woman. But what has made her the US's - and probably the world's - best-selling personal finance writer is that she glosses over the technicalities and focuses on what makes people dig themselves into debt traps: their personality disorders.

Men and women are different. For instance, if you said to a man that mending our bank balances is like mending our waistlines - we all know we need to do it, but few have the willpower - he probably wouldn't take offence. A woman, on the other hand, might interpret that as insinuating she is not looking as trim as on her book cover.

"As soon as I put on a bit of weight, people make remarks which puts pressure on me to lose it again. But when I buy flashy things on credit that I cannot afford, they don't laugh at me because they don't see my debt.

"Society does not put the same pressure on people to keep out of debt as it does to keep thin. Fat and debt are very different in that once people try to look rich by buying on credit, they feel pressured by society into getting into more financial trouble."

She has been a regular visitor to South Africa since 2000, brought out by First National Bank to do TV shows and motivational talks. Her slogan has been "Invest in yourself" meaning that South Africans should invest in their own country rather than offshore.

"I have left all my South African earnings here. I own a home in South Africa and have other investments. While the South Africans who took their money out of this country have been hammered by global crash and the rand going from R13 to R7.20 to the dollar, I have done really well by believing in this country."

She remains a fan - she started her speech by saying: "I wish the US had Gill Marcus leading the central bank" - but is concerned South Africa has learnt nothing from the US's credit meltdown.

"I'm gloomy about the US recovering from its financial crisis as quickly as people think. For years I've been beating the drum about the dangers of debt, but they would not listen. Now in South Africa I see too many 'things' - I see more new BMWs on the road here than I have ever seen in any US city."

The TV series she is shooting for FNB has worsened her fears.

"Out of 45 people whose finances I went through yesterday, only two had savings over R2000."

The rest had huge debt, a depressing subject that sent one interviewee into a flood of tears. FNB wanted to cut it out, but Orman wants it aired.

"We must stop hiding the pain behind what things cost."

Orman's message reminded me of a quote: "Anything that changes your values changes your behaviour." To get out of a debt trap, people need to face their demons and stop trying to buy happiness by wasting money on accumulating "things".