Jason Goliath opens up about attempted suicide: I felt worthless
Comedian Jason Goliath has shared telling details about his dark battle with depression, which led to him contemplating suicide on numerous occasions.
In perhaps his most candid moment since entering the comedy world in 2011, Jason explained that when he was younger he "chased money and success".
It was this hunger for success that caused him to slump into depression, when a business venture he was involved in, failed.
"I felt worthless and that the world would be a better place without me. The recurring thought I had was driving into a bridge on the highway. I remember thinking I could just put my foot on the accelerator and take a sharp right. People know that I am a petrol-head and love speed. My friends and family would think it was an accident," Jason recalled thinking.
He described battling depression as being surrounded by darkness that left him "deranged and confused".
The comedian said that the thought of his mother's grief often kept him from executing his plan.
"Take the support that is offered. My mom was my strength until I could take over again. I remember she used to call the housekeeper to make sure I get out of bed," Jason told TshisaLIVE.
Down and out, Jason moved back in with his mother until he had the strength to pick up the pieces of his life and carve a new career, this time in comedy.
He started performing in clubs until he was able to not only launch his career but also start a comedy entertainment company with close friends Donovan and Nicolas Goliath, called Goliath and Goalith.
The company recently opened up its first comedy club in Melrose Arch, Johannesburg.
Jason said that his view of business and outlook on life was different. The comedian said he's learnt that success did not always lead to happiness.
He also advised people to follow their passion and not let money be "the driver".
"Find your passion, don’t let money or the type of money a particular venture can get you be the driver, because when the money dries you are left with nothing. It is also important to realise that sometimes things don’t work out because they just don’t work out, not because you have done something wrong," Jason said.