Newlyweds pray during the mass wedding ceremony
Photograph by: Manuel Balce Ceneta
Credit: AP

'The fear of being without can lead to ugly fights'

Attorneys from Johannesburg and Cape Town have reported an unprecedented number of couples, from the affluent to the working class, seeking divorces.

Johannesburg lawyer Michael de Broglio said: "We are experiencing a marked upturn in divorce inquiries. There seems to be a sense that [spouses] would be better off on their own, managing their own finances, putting the past behind them and starting afresh, even if they have to adjust their standard of living. When the cheque walks out the front door, love frequently walks out the back door."

Cape Town divorce lawyer Peter Baker said many of his clients were willing to give up their bonuses to end their marriages.

"During the year, I've had many clients ask if they could divorce now and pay later."

He said the divorce rate usually peaked in January, when couples wanted out after spending too much time together during the festive season, or when a spouse upheld a New Year's resolution to end it all.

Although Statistics SA does not have recent figures for divorces, 29639 divorces were registered in 2007, when 183030 pairs married.

Baker believes the recessionwill lead to higher than usual divorce figures next year.

"The recession has increased the divorce rate. That increased rate will now become higher when bonuses are paid out and we come to January, when more couples tend to split up after a festive season of fighting. I definitely think the divorce rate is set to rise further," he said.

De Broglio said that the repossession of cars and homes and the scaling back of lifestyles "from lavish to modest, and more frequently from modest to breadline" were pushing couples to part ways.

"In my experience, money issues are frequently at the root of marriages failing. They often lead to couples squabbling and being constantly stressed about their financial situation, exposing fault lines within the relationship that are hard to heal," De Broglio said.

Baker said, though some marriages survived financial tough times, others cracked under the added pressure.

"And then there are those who don't want to be together because of the fights over money, but who stay with each other because it is cheaper than getting divorced."

Johannesburg marriage counsellor Lizette van Vuuren said partners tend to blame each other when forced to tighten their belts.

"It's always easy to blame a spouse when things go wrong. The fear associated with being without can lead to ugly fights and ugly divorces," she said.

"It is really sad because, in many of these cases the love is still there, but is overshadowed by the need for financial stability."