Can we get a bucket and clean up on the stand? Oscar has just gastric emptied: iLIVE

09 April 2014 - 13:37 By Lawyer in Training
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Oscar Pistorius bows his head as he listens to evidence during his murder trial in the High Court in Pretoria this week.
Oscar Pistorius bows his head as he listens to evidence during his murder trial in the High Court in Pretoria this week.
Image: AFP

Oscar has no choice but to head for the padded cells and the straitjacket.

Firstly, it will probably be a lot safer than the crazy action and burglar filled Misson: Impossible life he leads, but most importantly, it will save him from Nel.

Real Lawyers cannot believe how broad Oscar’s testimony has been.

The inconsistencies, the flat denials, the shabby timeline, Roux would have loved to pull apart the Defence’s case himself.

So much room for cross examination, and we know Nel isn’t scared to dissect every inch of Mr Pistorius’ version.

This Lawyer in Training has been told that a very likely first question from Nel will be “Mr Pistorius, did you ever talk to your attorneys?” Because if he had, Roux would never have brought up the “double tap” only to say a week later that it didn’t happen.

Roux would have also responded to all of OP’s ex-friends-turned-witnesses by saying: “My client’s version is actually that you’ve fabricated everything and he never shot out of any windows or did anything wrong”.

This Criminal Trial is unravelling at the very outset of the Defence’s case, because their story has changed in just a few short testimonies.

Another likely question would be “Oscar, do you walk around with your eyes closed?”

“Oscar, was Reeva certifiably deaf or was that a recent development?”

This Lawyer in Training’s guess at the first question from Nel would be “Can we get a bucket and clean up on the stand? The Accused has just gastric emptied.”

These questions are all provided that OP isn’t admitted sometime in the next 24 hours.

Thank goodness he doesn’t like firearms anymore because he’d probably turn one on himself.

Maybe some time with the kind nurses and the sweet little pills will help him cook up a girly scream, a credible story, a backbone.

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