A Cape Town internet site leads upwardly mobile brand enthusiasts into a brave new world, writes Lin Sampson

Seth Rotherham is the thrust behind 2oceansVibe Internet Radio. He has a serious case of fashion dementia. I'd say he's the best marketing man in Cape Town, with a get-rich-click genius, faintly hysterical, touched by OCD.

After talking for a while, he carefully removes my glasses and cleans them. He looks as if he has been put through a pencil sharpener - pointy little body, pointy little mind that vacuums up essentials, such as designer labels. "Lin, those shoes are awesome," he says. He has a Twitter implant in his frontal lobe and his left hand has morphed into an iPhone.

2oceansVibe's motto is: "Work is a sideline. Live the holiday." Although they don't take many things seriously, this is sacrosanct. "I think it's rude to make people work after midday," says Rotherham.

Within the illusionary sensurround of the 2oceans studio, with its fake Lichtensteins, leather sofas and extras with chiselled features, the old adage "he's got a face for radio" has finally been shunted off stage.

Here is a juggernaut of looks you could find in a model agency. A 1.8m-tall girl unfolds from the front desk where she has been gingerly pecking at a Mac Air Book as if it is a Stradivarius.

The presenters are Lindsay Williams with his skilled, hypnotic voice, a man who, it is rumoured, has read a book.

"Internet radio is so much more creative and free," he says. "If you use a swear word you don't get hundreds of letters from Whispering Glades retirement home."

Then there's Richard Hardiman, ex KFM DJ, famous for film-star looks; the Lebanese princess, Gen Akal, who is waiting for a Maronite knight to buy her - she's not going for any old Leb corner-shop owner. And the naked weather girl, Naomi King, who unfolds like a deck chair. Who cares about rain?

Everything here is updated by the nanosecond with global trends and news. It's a "you heard it here first" destination with show hosts such as Natalie Becker and comedians Rob van Vuuren and Martin Evans.

Rotherham is a brand lout and a Limited Edition whore. Today he is wearing Rudolph Dasher Puma shoes, his Gieves and Hawkes "lucky shirt" and those red trousers that all smart people in Zone One wear. He burns with branding. Every part of him is sponsored, from his sunglasses to his socks.

The history of radio is a long, flexuous spanking of electromagnetic waves into something audible which, for years, never changed. Now at last - and boy, have we radio enthusiasts waited for it - we are witnessing the end of radio as we know it.

"I was in Los Angeles," says Rotherham, "and all my friends were listening to internet radio in their cars with the iPhone plugged into the auxiliary jack. When I got back home, uncapped broadband had arrived. My Mini Countryman comes with an internet radio built in."

Stats reveal that internet radio has taken over from traditional radio. Advertising can be more focused.

When I was in London recently, all the expats were tuning in to 2oceans. A friend, Lallah Mellish, says: "I go by bus so I can listen. It makes me homesick, but I love it."

Most local stations have a selection of 400 tunes. "We have thousands to choose from," says Hardiman.

Also, we are unregulated, so the odd un-pc remark doesn't lose you the job."

Today starts off with Land of Hope and Glory, which segues into The Black Keys and then Loosen Up My Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls.

Williams reads a snippet from a magazine: "Rottweiler for sale, perfect family pet, eats anything and is especially fond of children."

The Democratic Alliance's shadow minister of trade and industry, Tim Harris, the only person in politics whom one can even remotely imagine having sex, arrives for a chat. "Shadow minister," croons Rotherham. "Wow, just think of that word? Sort of spooky."

The chat turns to uncool. People who still use phones. Uncool.

"I get one call a year and that is from my bank, goes straight through to voice mail," says Hardiman.

Twitterchic comes under review. "I tried to explain to the geeks at the iTel conference. It's just not cool to follow hundreds of people but only have a couple following you. They just couldn't get it."

The news is a mix of local gossip and international chitchat.

"I sift through a lot of stuff before I find what I want," says Rotherham. "It's the revelation of irreverence."

Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder is in town.

Woman bumped policeman's car while parking: shot by policeman.

Women's clothes torn off in aeroplane brawl.

2oceansVibe is the radio station for people who are not "us" or "them", but in between; informed opinion makers such as rugby captain John Smit, who is a great fan.

It is tailored to a target audience of the upwardly mobile brand enthusiasts who have 50-page anti-nuptial contracts (spouse can't get hold of the trust fund), fly to Europe to buy a Rolex Milgauss or just people like me who like to imagine they're rich as they put the last coin into the electricity meter.

No more listening to conspiracy theorists, semi-drunks, Muslim fanatics, perverts, racial harangues or hearing about Kieno Kammies's son or Kate Turkington's hols.

"My Mini went in for a service and they gave me another car with an ordinary radio," says Rotherham. "I had no idea the level of local radio had dropped so drastically. I nearly went mad."

The net is full of audio sites. Choose one that suits you. It's as easy as turning a knob on a radio.

• www.woceansVibe.co.za