Since the locals are being elbowed out of their favourite don't-feel-like-cooking spot anyway, Shelley Seid thinks the secret may as well go national

THE familiar is very appealing, especially if it is unerringly consistent. Ask the Holiday Inn. Ask the Spur. Ask me. I've used the same brand of moisturiser for 25 years; I've been to the same game lodge 11 times and I take all out-of-town visitors to the Mad Italian. It's our local trattoria: unpretentious, reasonably priced, with excellent Italian dishes and even better fish.

Without fail, my heart lifts as we approach and I spot Gary the Car Guard zealously conducting vehicles into the nooks and crannies he has chosen for them. Gary will tell you how the restaurant is faring, stop traffic so you can cross the road and escort you under a golf umbrella in the rain.

In fact, if you don't enjoy your meal, Gary would be the person to go to. Fortunately, I've never had a reason to do anything but praise the Mad Italian. Secrets, however, are never very well kept in a town the size of Durban and we locals are being elbowed out of our favourite spot by people from places like Hillcrest and Umbilo. I now place my regular order for fish of the day, drizzled with basil pesto on a bed of cauliflower cream, when I phone to book my table. All the locals know the fish is bound to sell out.

Being a creature of habit is not always a good thing, though. Once, when I'd forgotten to book my fish, I had to have flame-grilled chicken kebabs in a marinade of rosemary. They were excellent. Hilda, who is almost as unadventurous, has occasionally had the grilled calamari (but not the Patagonian calamari, flavoured with chilli, ginger and coriander, R77.95), and is also addicted to the line fish (SQ).

For a while now, I have been hankering after their lasagna al forno (R69.95), but fear to try it in case it's not as good as my mom's.

I took Susan there for dinner. She packed away a sizable portion of spaghetti di mare (R77.95) with gusto. I took Louis there. He had fettuccine Bolognese (R56.95), which smelt like an Italian holiday but he lives in Canada so I couldn't in good conscience ask for his leftovers. My chance to have my fish and eat my lasagna eventually arrived with my Aunty Alida. I could take her to lunch, talk her into the lasagna - she has an appetite like a bird - and take most home in a doggy bag . Or so I thought.

As it turned out, Aunty Alida had a small freezer bag in her luggage for just such an occasion. So the lasagna, which she said was excellent, flew to Jo burg with her. So did my appetite. But when you think it through, nothing can beat a well-cooked piece of dorado.

FAST FACTS

THE MAD ITALIAN 66 Adelaide Tambo (Kensington) Road, Durban North

Phone 0315732938

Mondays to Saturdays: 12pm to 2pm and 6pm to 10pm.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS That you would be comfortable and well fed - if only you had booked a table.

THE BILL FOR TWO Two mains, a table salad and two beers: R237.90.

MENU PRICES Starters from R25.95 to R49.95, pizzas average R59.95 and mains from R49.95 to R89.95.

WINE LIST Reasonable and well-priced. A Fish Hoek sauvignon blanc goes for R67 while a Moreson is R128. Excelsior merlot and Leopard's Leap cabernet sauvignon are R77.

SERVICE 8/10. Efficient, very young.

NOISE LEVEL 9/10. The sound of happy patrons and easy, jazzy music.

DECOR AND LIGHTING Low lighting, checked tablecloths, wooden tables - Italian down to the last detail.

IS BOOKING NEEDED? You'd be lucky to get in without one.

EASY PARKING? Yes. If you listen to Gary the Car Guard.

CHILD FRIENDLY? It's Italian. Children are mandatory.

DID YOU SEE MANAGER OR CHEF? It's hard to tell who is who but you'll get at least two friendly people visiting your table.

RATING OUT OF FIVE STARS HHHHHFive for the establishment and a H for Gary.