A legend reloaded: Porsche 991

29 January 2012 - 02:03 By Thomas Falkiner
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Meet the baby that's the benchmark for the future

So here I stand on the hazy outskirts of Abu Dhabi, a sprawling metropolis built by the business of black gold. Two hours away from Dubai - the honorary Las Vegas of the Middle East - its skyscrapers thrust skywards like fingers on a hungry hand; all shiny and mirrored and cloaked in glass.

It's where Postmodernism meets Piet Mondrian. Home of the corporate high-roller, it's clear that Abu Dhabi and its immediate surroundings also know how to rock the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Oh yeah, baby, if you've got the ammo to burn, then you and your entourage can have one hell of a time.

So it's strangely fitting, then, that this exotic backdrop is playing host to the launch of a brand-new sports car. A car made for spirited driving, yes, but also for making a bold statement about who you are and where it is you're going in life.

You know, a vehicle for adding some centimetres to your ego. It's called the Porsche 991 and it represents the capstone of a design that harks back to the golden era of automotive penmanship. Let me explain.

Back in 1963, when sex was safe and motor racing was dangerous, the original Porsche 911 was introduced to the world. It was sleek. It had perfect proportions. There was just enough chrome to reflect your well-to-do silhouette. But, and this quirk remains to this very day, its engine was in the wrong place - hung behind the rear axle, to be precise.

What does this mean? Well it basically made Stuttgart's bahnstormer notoriously tricky to drive, as the rear was always looking for a way to overtake the front. If you overstepped the mark through corners, it would, like a caged zoo animal, rip your hand off.

Indeed, drive it like a buffoon and you'd no doubt find yourself crashed backwards into a ditch.

Of course, through the ages this penchant for swapping ends was softened. The engine was shifted a little more forward and the wheelbase extended. But be this as it may, the bite was always there: lurking beneath the curve of exotic sheet metal, like some evil bogeyman. And this is probably one of the reasons why, in the 1970s, Porsche tried to replace the 911 with the frog-eyed 928 - a front-engined GT with foolproof handling.

And even though it came close to winning the battle, the 928 would ultimately lose the war. Why? Because despite its reputation for being something of a widow-maker, Porsche purists refused to see the end of their beloved 911. Apparently they got off on the danger, the thrill of learning to overcome the bad physics. So, in the shoulder-padded days of the 1980s, the 911 was taken off Death Row and given another chance.

Today, the Abu Dhabi skyline reflecting in my mirrored aviators, I'm gazing at the seventh incarnation of Porsche's most iconic model. And, to be frank, it is a devilishly handsome thing to look at. Of course, the acid-tongued critics will draw parallels to the VW Beetle or condemn Stuttgart's lack of imagination. But when you're working with a shape that so easily blends the nostalgia of the past with the desirability of the present, why screw with the formula? Just a simple evolutionary tweak is in order.

And this is exactly what it gets. Parked next to its predecessor, you'll notice that the new 991 Carrera is lower, longer and blessed with an even lengthier gap between its two 19-inch alloy wheels. The nose is wider, too, which, thanks to a freshly minted front apron beset with gaping air vents and fancy LED daytime running strips, help make it look meaner than ever.

What's my favourite part? Definitely that shapelier derriere. The 997 (the version of the 911 Carrera manufactured between 2005 and 2011) was a bit bulbous in the arse department, but the 991 is far more toned. It also has thinner, more sinister light clusters that add a welcome rush of menace to proceedings.

But enough of standing around gawking already. It's time to strap up inside the cabin and take off down Ajban Road - a bleak strip of tarmac that spears into the desert at an alarming rate. Speeding is frowned upon in United Arab Emirates circles, so I'm taking things extra-cautiously, especially after passing some camouflaged law enforcers with automatic rifles.

Frustrating, yes, but this period of automotive stasis allows me to sample the more congenial side of the 991. Indeed, take it easy and you'll notice that this Carrera is eerily quiet. There is no road noise to speak of. The thick desert air glides over it without a hint of hiss. And the revised suspension carries you with all the comfort of a cushy GT car.

Then there's the slightly more spacious interior (both head- and leg-room have increased). The dashboard layout in the old 997 was, if I'm honest, somewhat long in the tooth. An uninspiring slab of leather and plastic with a whiff of the country club about it. But the 991, well, the 991 feels like a sports car should. Especially with that new Panamera-esque centre console: a rising, ramp-like structure that helps heighten driver focus and makes you feel more at one with the machine. Home to a raised gear lever (vital for snappy cog-swapping), it also holds most of this Porsche's essential switchgear. You know, everything from sunroof and ventilation controls to that all-important Sport button: a digital trigger that basically snaps the Carrera into attack mode.

Yeah, cruising past a never-ending web of power lines and the odd aluminium factory, the 991 is proving to be pretty damn smooth, all right. So smooth, in fact, that it feels like you're actually piloting some low-slung saloon car. Nice if you're over the age of 50, I'll admit, but not especially pulse-quickening if you're 28 and wired for the track, like I am.

Fortunately I learn that this is where our caravan is headed next: the Yas Marina Circuit.

Host to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, its grandstands usually rumble to the sound of V8 Formula1 cars. But now, rocketing down the pit straight - albeit behind a safety car driven by a patronising driving instructor - they're filled with the brutish bellow of the 991's newly developed flat-six engines. And although Porsche designed them to sip less juice and huff out less carbon dioxide, the amount of power they churn out is enough to reach some seriously eye-widening speeds.

Matched to a lightweight body hewn from lots of gravity-cheating aluminium, this is an incredibly fast bit of kit.

It handles beautifully, too. For thanks to all manner of electronic driver aids spliced into my Carrera S - Porsche Torque Vectoring and Dynamic Chassis Control - I can thread through corners without battling against the age-old pendulum effect caused by that rear-mounted engine layout.

For whereas the bygone 911 models - even the 997, to some extent - still demanded a degree of deference, the new 991 feels almost as benign as the CaymanR I tested just a few months ago. Topped off with some of the best steering in the business, and a seven-speed PDK gearbox that swaps cogs as well in automatic mode as you do in manual, very few sports cars are as easy to drive so quickly.

Yet in this quest for perfection, for being all things to all men, I can't help but think that the new Porsche 991 might be a little too polished for some enthusiasts.

Not the masses, you understand, but the diehard elite: fanboys like myself who've always treasured - and respected - the wriggle of that rump when getting stuck in. For us, the neutering of that sting from the tail may seem like a step in the wrong direction.

But you know what? Everybody else will love it. To them the combination of effortless speed, death-proof fluency and everyday livability will turn this seventh-generation 911 Carrera into the new benchmark: the yardstick against which all future sports cars will soon be measured.

FAST FACTS: PORSCHE 991 CARRERA

The Basics:

. Engine: 3436cc flat-six / 3800cc flat-six (Carrera S)*

. Power: 257kW @ 7400rpm / 294kW @ 7400rpm*

. Torque: 390Nm @ 5600rpm / 440Nm @ 5600rpm*

. Transmission: seven-speed manual or PDK

. 0-100km/h: 4.8 seconds / 4.5 seconds*

. Top Speed: 289km/h / 304km/h*

. Fuel: 9.0l/100km / 9.5l/100km* (combined)

. CO2: 212g/km / 224g/km*

. Price: From R989000 / R1133000

THE BEST:

. Probably the most rounded 911 ever

. Phenomenally quick

. A joy to drive at the limit

THE WORST:

. The purists might find it too refined

. Uh, we'd be splitting hairs

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