Back-seat bugbears

Here's how to be a good passenger: get in, shut up and hold on. Ask anyone if he or she is a good driver and inevitably the answer will be yes, but not too often is the question asked: are you a good passenger?

After all, passengers just sit back, talk on the phone or play air guitar, right?

Wrong. Passengers can - and frequently do - distract drivers, sometimes with expensive or tragic consequences.

Not convinced?

Next time you are bored in traffic, watch passengers.

Even if you've never driven in your life, you can contribute to safety as a passenger.

Here are a few tips:

• Be a good co-driver

Help drive the car by being another pair of eyes and ears, especially when the driver is pulling out into traffic or changing lanes. Turn, or lean back, to allow the driver to see traffic coming from the left, or look yourself and inform the driver, although it would be a good idea to declare up front if you are short-sighted.

• Don't make the driver ask you to wear a seat belt: I don't ask passengers to put on theirs. I find it much more effective to give them a short contract stating that should they go through the windscreen as a result of a crash or sudden stop they are liable for the costs - dead or alive.
• Hang up the phone. Passengers who chat endlessly on their phones are infuriating, especially if their conversations are juicy and scandalous.

Most people are generally loud and obnoxious when talking on their phones, which can be seriously distracting. If you must take a call, try to use a moderate tone, cut the discussion short and don't talk about juicy topics!

• Mind your reactions (and your language). Many a passenger reacts strongly (and loudly) to a near-emergency situation. Refrain from yelling, gasping or grabbing the driver's arm.

If necessary, tie your passengers' hands and feet together, which will stop them from stomping on imaginary brakes or making a grab for the steering wheel.

• My Car, my rules.

Passengers who fiddle with the radio should have their fingers chopped off. It is unthinkable that a passenger could even think of fiddling with one's radio because getting into a music selection war while on the road is never smart or safe.

• Don't be a drama queen.

Some passengers are in the habit of back-seat driving, even if they are sitting in the front.

They point out every little mistake, which adds to the driver's stress. Even the most seasoned and patient drivers have had near misses on the road and, as a passenger, it's your job to remain calm when this happens.

Gasping loudly or covering your eyes dramatically could exacerbate the situation in a close call. Passengers can and should give the driver useful information: a running commentary on errors has been known to land many a passenger in the emergency ward.

• Foods not to eat in the car - ever. Oniony, garlicky, crunchy foods can cause indigestion and gas. Need I say more?