Does size matter?
This article is likely to offend and cause emotional suffering to some readers.
Parental guidance is strongly advised because I am about to add my two cents worth to the age-old myth which has left men flat broke and in financial dire straits for decades.
This is the belief that having a nice, expensive car attracts women and increases your chances of getting laid.
If men (could) tell the truth, they would own up to the simple fact that none of them have ever picked up a woman while sitting in their fancy car, or while getting in or out of it.
Granted, maybe being the proud owner of an astronomically priced car comes in handy when taking women out on dates, and maybe, just maybe, it contributes to a sense of value to a man as a boyfriend or potential life partner.
But how exactly does a V8 engine equate to intercourse of any kind? How exactly is it that some men deem it a logical deduction that a woman could sleep with a man because of the pile of shiny metal parked in the garage?
I can almost hear the resounding arguments highlighting the "pros" of this case, but I will bravely press on and ask; if a man is content that a woman could sleep with him because of the size of his ... car instalment, what does it really say about that particular man?
Ah! you are silent, but think about it (take as long as you need gents), because wouldn't it be more accurate to conclude that if a woman is attracted to you because of your car, she would prefer to enjoy reading her magazine and having a cup of tea rather than put up with you, because after all, it was the car she was drawn to in the first instance.
Men (and some women) are quick to label women who are attracted to men with big cars as shallow, and while that might hold some truth, I prefer to view it from the other end of the spectrum.
This being that men who buy cars with the express purpose of attracting women are themselves as shallow as the deepest part of a teaspoon.
That said, it could be argued that big expensive cars are to men what breast implants are to women; and that both "investments" serve the same purpose to the opposite sex.
However, we live in a country where an increasing number of women are able to afford their own big, expensive cars.
This alone should be a dead giveaway to some men that it's not about their cars.
In either instance, the attraction to the opposite sex should start with a connection, or in mechanical terms - a spark! But have you noticed that people's relation to cars varies from province to province?
Take for instance Gauteng, the land of milk and honey or is that milk and money?
Gautengers seem to have a panache for big fast cars, which could be part of the illusion that everyone in the economic capital of Africa is successful even when they are evading the bank's repo man at all costs.
Durbanites seem to have taken the whole "pimp my ride" thing a little too far, as just about every other car there has undergone some type of aesthetic enhancement to the point of being unrecognisable to its manufacturer and all!
Bloemfontein, well, they seem to really be into their bakkies. The dirtier and more banged up from rough country roads the better.
Limpopo is a bit of a strange one though; a mix between pimped-out SUVs and 4x4s and sleek sedans.
And of course Capetonians. Do they even notice that there are cars on the roads for all the mountain gazing and surfing?
Whatever you drive, how much it cost and which province you live in, there are things we can all be certain of, number one being that the world has an over-supply of alcohol.
Secondly, that manufacturers will continue to design "pantie droppers" long after pharmacists have developed a stronger brand of Viagra, and lastly, that there will always be gullible men who are up to their eyeballs in debt simply because they believe there are women more attracted to them because of their cars.