With falling prices a problem this vintage, the real money to be made is in hawking hanepoot

THIS year is shaping up as the most difficult vintage since spaceships landed in Châteauneuf-du-Pape, France, in 1954 and squashed the vines. Things got so bad, the town council passed a bylaw forbidding aliens from landing in the vineyards on pain of having their flying saucers impounded.

Aliens are not a problem in Constantia, however, since the "Tree Taliban" started clearing invader species from Tokai forest and the slopes of Table Mountain. Rather, it is a question of price.

In the Swartland, grape prices paid by the co-op are down 5% to around R2000/ton for sparse fruit from ancient bush vines. In leafy Constantia, famous for grassy sauvignon blanc, prime vineyards may demand up to R8000/ton for their berries. But the real money to be made is hawking hanepoot, R3.50 for a 2.5kg box translates to R14000 a ton and sales average between 150 and 200 boxes a day, with 300 boxes the record.

Constantia Uitsig viticulturalist and winemaker André Rousseau takes the grapes left on the vine after the hawkers have cut their bunches and makes a sweet muscat wine that tastes and even looks like those pink blocks of Turkish delight dusted with castor sugar.

With 100g of residual sugar, the elixir is unmistakably sweet with up to 16% alcohol, not the kind of thing you'll find in a sultan's harem. But the slim bottle does make an excellent container for olive oil and, if you rub it, a genie is said to appear. At R285 a (half) bottle, it is the most expensive Uitsig wine now that the exquisite Méthode Cap Classique bubbly has been discounted from a launch price of R350 for the 2005 vintage to R240 for the current release, a 2007.

For those with Scottish blood, the wine to buy is the unwooded chardonnay 2010. The reasons are obvious and five in number:

1) At R75 a bottle, it is the cheapest wine made at Uitsig;

2) Scotsman Dave McCay still owns half the farm (and Tokyo Sexwale the rest);

3) A consummate food wine, it works well with haggis, with or without neeps and tatties;

4) The dominant flavour of cream soda reminds one of Irn-Bru, the national drink of Scotland after whisky; and

5) The floral bouquet has a lot in common with a Lowland dram.

Uitsig is ground zero for culinary excellence in Cape Town: La Colombe was voted 12th best restaurant in the world by San Pellegrino last year while, at Uitsig itself, chef Clayton Bell makes comfort food for Mr Creosote: veal sweetbreads with mushrooms and peas and a wild mushroom ravioli with truffle oil that is to die for - if you eat enough, you probably will.

No wonder 40% of wine production is sold off the estate, primarily through the two restaurants, where a most realistic mark-up policy is applied. In fact, the 2009 unwooded chardonnay has been reduced from R145 to R120 a bottle to make way for the 2010. As Rousseau calls 2009 "a special vintage", you don't need to be Scottish for this deal.

Read Pendock Uncorked at http://blogs.thetimes.co.za/pendock