'Nothing will make us right'

The firing of four bullets through a locked bathroom door changed the lives of two families forever. Today, exactly a year ago, Olympic hero Oscar Pistorius shot dead his model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp.

The seconds in which she was killed and the moments leading up her death are central to the trial, starting next month in the Pretoria High Court.

"It is bad. Bad, bad, bad and nothing that is done will change that. Under the circumstances we are not okay. We are not all right. Nothing will make us all right," she says softly.

Exactly a year ago today, Olympian Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, 29, allegedly after he mistook her for an intruder hiding in the toilet of his luxury Pretoria home.

"Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing we say or do will make a difference," June says.

"Yes, I will be at the trial. For me, for us and for Reeva, but it will not bring back our beautiful baby.

"It never gets easier. In fact, it only gets worse."

Steenkamp breathes deeply as she gathers her thoughts.

"Can you imagine waking up every morning knowing that you will never hear your daughter's voice again, never see her smile, hear her laugh, or hold her when she cries? Can you imagine someone just disappearing like that forever? Never saying goodbye.

"Unless you have been there, you can never imagine it."

June and her husband, Reeva's father Barry, have coping methods to get through the days, says Barry's brother, Mike Steenkamp.

"They have their rituals to help them cope. Barry has certain things in the house in remembrance of Reeva, her furniture and belongings are there. He keeps photos - a particular photo which is very special to him.

"Today, as always, he will take out his Bible and the photo that he keeps inside, and turn to it as he does every day to remember his Reeva. He will look at a specific passage which has, and had, a special meaning to both of them.

"June has her way of remembering her daughter," he says, declining to reveal more.

"It is these rituals, the daily routines, that help, especially now over Valentine's [Day], when so many people are in love and shops are filled with balloons.

"They can't walk into a shop without being reminded of what happened on this day."

June says they tried to live their lives, but it was hard.

The couple are trying to keep busy and have opened a pub outside Port Elizabeth called the Barking Spider. Barry also trains thoroughbred horses .

"We try for Reeva to go forward, never give up hope, but it is difficult," June says.

They are placing a notice in memory of Reeva in newspapers around South Africa. "It is a way of getting the message out that she is not forgotten," Mike says.