The horror, the horror

We missed most of President Jacob Zuma's State of the Nation speech: We were too busy projectile vomiting after we saw the "fashion" on the red carpet outside parliament.

Helen Zille wore an algae-green frock and - though the beaded detail on her dress's shoulders looked like it was made by a 10-year-old for a school craft project - we really wish she would do her hair and make-up like she did last night more often. She looked great, especially in comparison to her rivals.

Said Zille: "I was at the Cape Craft and Design Institute and I saw the beading and I decided I wanted beading. I love greens and blues and Thobeka Mzi did a wonderful job."

The other two members of the DA Powerpuff Girls - Lindiwe Mazibuko and Patricia de Lille - chose a mutual theme: horrendous.

The top half of Mazibuko's dress was so tight it resembled Gladwrap that had been spray-painted silver. Pick n Pay now knows why it suddenly sold so much tinfoil.

Mazibuko said the outfit, by Cape Town designer Kat van Duinen, was "comfortable" and "glamorous".

De Lille still hasn't heard of tailored suits. We loved the colourful shirt under the suit, but what was up with the sandals? She looked like she was at Shimmy Beach for a cocktail party.

Parliament security needs to explain how science and technology portfolio committee chairman Nqaba Ngcobo was allowed in. His leopard skin onesie is an internet meme waiting to happen.

Arts and culture portfolio committee chairman Thandile Sunduza should cover up until after her pregnancy.

It was an evening of fashion hits and misses, with several members of parliament opting for traditional African attire, and green being a popular choice on the red carpet.

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, who is rarely spotted in parliament, didn't stop on the red carpet, but looked beautiful in a black dress with high lace neckline.

Minister of Public Enterprises Malusi Gigaba surprised everyone when he arrived dressed in an SAA pilot's uniform, which he said was to demonstrate his support for all the pilots and staff of the national carrier.

DA MP Patty Duncan and her husband Garth were proudly South African, she in a black dress with a South African flag bodice and clutch bag, and he with a matching tie.