Long shadow of a Nazi death camp

He smiles knowingly, shakes his head and begins. "I am here by the grace of God . all of us survivors are," says Holocaust survivor Don Krausz.

As a 12-year-old, Krausz experienced what no child should - he had to remove bodies from the overcrowded barracks in which he was imprisoned at the Nazi-run Westerbork concentration camp in The Netherlands during World War 2.

Krausz was speaking to The Times yesterday on the eve of the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.

"What happened was unimaginable horror. What happened in those 45000 camps was beyond terror," he said, recalling the killing of 12000 people a day at Auschwitz.

Krausz, who for the past few years has been documenting the experiences of death camp survivors, said the official death toll at Auschwitz was 1.5million "but the last commandant estimated that during his tenure over 4million people died under his watch".

He said that, of the 140000 Jews interned at Westerbork, only 5450 survived.

"Yes, I get emotional. But, do I have survivor's guilt? I understand a woman who lost her children and husband [having such guilt] but me? Why? My survival was based on my own efforts."

Krausz, who recently buried a friend and Auschwitz survivor, was scheduled to be sent to Auschwitz a few times.

"They tried to kill me on several occasions . a good few times.

"If I had gone, you wouldn't be here interviewing me," he said.

Becoming sombre, Krausz said that when he went into Westerbork he was a child "but when I came out it was a different story".

"My parents were never religious. The only thing I have to show for my religion is the two years in the camp.

"When I came out I was an atheist. I went in with my sister, mother and father and relatives.

"My father and 40 relatives never came back. When I went to a synagogue after the war, I found a word for compassion and mercy, but back there I didn't see any."

His religion now is based on the precept "Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself".

"The rest is just commentary, but this is a religion I can live with."

Krausz doesn't know if he will ever be able to come to terms with his wartime experiences .

"The people behind this were ordinary people, not sadists as many believe.

"They were doctors, policemen, teachers, people like you and me, driven by fear, taught to hate, who believed they were liberating the world.

"You cannot forget this even if you try. It is burnt into you like a tattoo.

"How do you forgive the murder of 6million people? Not only the Jews, but the millions of others: the Poles, the Gypsies, the Russians. There are things that were done that are unforgivable.

"[Today], though, is about the commemoration of the dead.

"For me what will be significant will be the emotions of the survivors; those from Auschwitz and the other camps.

"But I won't have emotion. I had the job of removing the dead . that's when I lost my emotions."