Pretty things park and smile

Kuli Roberts:To celebrate the launch of its premium hatchback in South Africa, Audi selected six sassy celebs to be A1 brand ambassadors.

Trevor Noah, the MC at the launch at Melrose Arch - he is so sweet I can't understand why folk say he is arrogant - started the proceedings by welcoming the ambassadors as they arrived one at a time.

First was the sexy Shashi Naidoo. Photographers scrambled for pictures and fans screamed.

Then the second ambassador, TV presenter Siya Ngwekazi, emerged from another car . I thought that for somebody nominated for the GQ best-dressed list, he hadn't made any effort with the dodgy jersey he wore. Still love you, darling.

Anele Mdoda from 5FM, model Roxy Louw, TV presenter Jeannie D and swimmer Cameron van der Burgh are the other ambassadors.

Roxy told me, while gulping a double tequila, that she is having the time of her life.

"Not only do I have a hot boyfriend who loves me and isn't in the entertainment industry, I have also just signed on for another international movie." She would not tell me her new man's name but did say he has black hair and is as dark as I am. I wanted to ask if it was Julius Malema but decided I shouldn't be so silly.

Jeannie D is also happy with her man and even though she has lost some weight, and some of that cleavage and ample behind, she is still delicious.

I spotted choreographer Somizi Mhlongo posing with his hand on his crotch. This one always survives his dramas. A couple of weeks ago his "friend" or "lover" disappeared with his car and has still not returned it.

"I simply bought another car. He can keep it," said the ever controversial fly one.

Designer David Tlale, who seems to go to every function, gave me great fashion tips for the J&B Met. He looked amazing in what he calls harem trousers and I call MC Hammer pants. We sat chatting until the early hours of the morning, then it was off to bed for the stars in their fabulous new cars.

Oh, somebody did say something about the Audi hatchback being hot for those under 30. Perfect for me. I'm 23.

Not much older than me is my lovely cousin's wife, Unathi Msengana.

I am so proud of her for landing such a juicy job on Idols. It means I can borrow more money from family. As you know, my cousin is Thomas Msengana from 5FM, formerly known as Bad Boy T, formerly known as Sabelo, and a guy I personally used to dress in my frocks when we grew up like siblings. Anyway, I am happy for Unathi.

And I am very happy to have met the sexy, 60-year-old Leon Schuster earlier this week at his plush Joburg home. It has a plaque outside that reads "There is a river on my stoep".

He offered me tea but I could see he was thinking whisky. We chatted about his illustrious career. He changed shirts twice and I am convinced he was trying to show off his tight body. He told me he doesn't care about his critics and that he is looking forward to releasing a movie in December.

We laughed and chatted for a while before he told me he had a stomach bug and had fainted on Monday night. Shame, he did look pale, but I ignored him in case he was trying to avoid our interview. Thank goodness he did not offer me food or I might have fainted in his house. Not a bad idea though.