What if Uncle Bob did die?

Phumla Matjila: There's a delightful little poem that I absolutely adore by English poet and philosopher Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

It lifts my mood without fail every time I read it - or think about it. It's the perfect antidote to the "if" disease.

"If only the day had 28 hours . If it didn't rain today . If I were a certain age . If I knew this yesterday ." The list is endless .

Coleridge's poem simply asks: What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?

I could not stop thinking about this poem last week when I read reports that Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, was "ill".

The London-based newspaper, The Telegraph, reported that Mugabe was in Malaysia for urgent prostate cancer surgery.

As expected, the party spokesman rubbished the reports in the Zimbabwean paper Newsday - and then went on to point out that such rumours kept recurring every year because there were people who wished "His Excellency" the worst.

Rugare Gumbo, Zanu-PF spokesman, said there was nothing wrong with Mugabe. He said Malaysia is Uncle Bob's destination of choice for the Christmas and New Year break each year. He assured us that Mugabe would be back "soon".

And as expected, he is back . fit as fiddle, those who saw him on Sunday said.

Mugabe didn't waste a lot of time gloating, like he did to the country's editors when similar reports about his health made headlines before. This time he didn't say: "I don't know how many times I die, but nobody has ever talked about my resurrection. I suppose they don't want to because it would mean they would mention my resurrection several times and that would be quite divine an achievement for an individual who is not divine."

On Sunday, he was brief: "Those are the rumours that they pass. They go on a campaign that I'm not well every time I go on leave. I was not even in Malaysia, I was in Singapore."

So, it's back to business for Uncle Bob. He's on a mission to get Zimbabweans to the polls this year. And whatever Uncle Bob wants . He just snaps his glistening fingers.

Back to Coleridge's poem. My question for Zimbabweans is: What if you woke up? And in your state of wakefulness, you switched on the TV - or the radio?

And what if on TV or radio, you heard that Mugabe was dead? And what if when you turn off the TV and rush to your neighbour to tell her the news, you find her reading The Herald with a front page confirming that Mugabe is dead? Ah, what then?

What if . What if Mugabe were dead? Let's hypothesise here for a second, shall we?

Will Mugabe's death be the death of Zimbabwe's problems?

I doubt this. One thing is for certain: It will be the start of new problems for the country.

The succession battle will be officially on.

Mugabe's latest health scare - real or the product of overactive imaginations - has reminded the war veterans that no one lives forever - and that, also given Mugabe's age, they have to act now, to negotiate their position in the "new" Zimbabwe.

Mugabe, as the glue that is holding the Zanu-PF together is quickly losing it's adhesive properties. It is beginning to dawn on Zimbabweans that even he were to collapse today, it is going to get more ugly before Zimbabwe turns a new leaf.

And the various splits in the Movement for Democratic Change camp are only making matters worse.

As the Mail & Guardian reported, the big target for the MDC no longer appears to be to oust Mugabe, but to compete against each other.

Mugabe is sick (excuse the pun), we all know that. The question now is, how sick will we find the other politicians both in Zanu-PF and the various factions of the MDC, when Mugabe is out of the picture?