My daughter is a thief

22 August 2011 - 02:40 By Jackie May
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Jackie May. File photo.
Jackie May. File photo.
Image: Times LIVE

I've banged on about this before - how to teach ethics in a godless home. Do you whip your kids for every misdeed?

 Do you pull out an old Immanuel Kant tome from a dusty box and repeatedly recite his categorical imperative, "Act according to the maxim that you would wish all other rational people to follow", until the words begin to grow roots in little heads? Do you send them to their rooms or to naughty chairs for repeated time out?

We haven't beaten our children, and probably never will. But our attempts at teaching basic morality haven't had much effect on my baby girl. I fear we are a long way from developing an honest mind.

Currently we're struggling with the small problem of "borrowing". More harshly termed as "theft". Twice, she has come home - both times from ballet - with an item or two not belonging to her. First offence: she had been "given" ballet slippers by a little friend who said "I could have them". A little distrustful of her friend's generosity, I returned them to the thankful family. Then, home came a pink jersey and an even pinker dress.

"I really need a jersey," she claimed, implying falsely that she takes care to dress warmly in the cold weather. We battle to get her to wear shoes on her feet and a vest under the summer frocks she is wearing this winter. We seldom get her to wear more than the basics.

"I like the cold," she boldly tells us on freezing mornings.

So, where did the jersey come from, I ask?

"My teacher gave it to me," she confidently tells me.

For a split second I felt immense guilt. I can't get her to wear warm coverings so the teacher thinks we don't care, we don't have jerseys, and she took it upon herself to provide my child with something warm. And the dress, I wondered.

Something was amiss. Against her little wishes I took the "new" clothes back to school, and met a delighted teacher. The clothes had gone missing from another child's bag. And a search was under way.

I was mortified. My child, not so much. She nonchalantly handed back the items without fully understanding her misdemeanour. Later I tried the Kant imperative on her. What if your friends took clothes from your bag? How would you feel? Completely nonplussed was my little immoral child.

Clearly we have a lot of work ahead of us.

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