I suppose you could call it double-crossing the Rubicon

FORMER foreign minister Pik Botha has a lot to answer for. He introduced this country to the metaphor of "crossing the Rubicon". On Wednesday, the Rubicon was crossed twice. First, the minister of justice announced the terms of the arms-deal inquiry with the remark: "As we cross the arms-deal Rubicon, we wish to assure all South Africans that this commission will work independently of everyone, including the executive."

Moments later, Western Cape premier Helen Zille said of the election of Lindiwe Mazibuko as the DA's parliamentary leader: "We have crossed the first Rubicon."

When much becomes more

MINISTER of Planning Trevor Manuel produced this quote from US economist Larry Summers during his speech to the Business Times Top 100 awards ceremony this week: "The central irony of financial crisis is that, while it is caused by too much confidence, too much borrowing and lending, and too much spending, it can only be resolved with more confidence, more borrowing and lending, and more spending."

Sole of inspiration

HOGARTH has finally worked out where Julius Malema got the inspiration for his "long march" to Pretoria: he was obviously influenced by the pay-off line of his favourite tipple, Johnnie Walker Gold: "Keep walking!"

Work hard, play hard

WHILE Juju and his Economic Freedom Fighters were marching to Pretoria, one of the men they want to put in charge of both the ANC and the country, Minister of Sport Fikile Mbalula, was partying it up with US RnB superstar Keri Hilson. As Malema led the crowd to the capital, Hilson wrote on Twitter that she was having dinner with Mbalula in Johannesburg ahead of his belated 40th birthday party at the weekend.

Faith without Works is dead

WHEN Juju arrived at the Union Buildings, he insisted that a minister receive his memorandum. Who was mandated to perform this task? The new kid on the block, of course - Minister of Public Works Thulas Nxesi. Juju was ecstatic: "We have a minister. We always get what we want. We are not a Mickey Mouse organisation. We are a serious organisation."

Tick, tock, tick, tock ...

WHICH reminds Hogarth of the old joke adapted for modern times: What did Mickey Mouse get for his 50th birthday? A Julius Malema watch!

Now that's rich!

THIS country simply has too many mining companies for Juju to keep up. Just the other day, he made headline news bashing Anglo American for allegedly wanting to drive a Vereeniging community off its land "after discovering a mineral" in the area. As it turned out, Anglo American long ago sold its prospecting rights in the area to a small company known as Richtrau No 253. But don't expect Malema to be silenced by this embarrassing mix-up. He'll probably see it as one more reason why all mines should be nationalised. With all of them under state control, Malema would not have the burden of telling his Anglo from his Richtrau.

The old blame game

AG shame, Minister of Agriculture Tina Joemat-Pettersson first suffered the humiliation of being allocated a Cape Town ministerial house with "broken toilet, bathrooms and a roof that threatened to collapse". Then officials in her department told parliament she had spent R1.5-million on hotels over the past two years, a claim she vehemently denies. Now she is threatening disciplinary action against senior staff who gave her office "wrong" information.

But hold on. Didn't Joemat-Pettersson sign off on the reply to a parliamentary question that was put to her before it was sent to the National Assembly in her name?

The minister should be careful. Just a week ago, Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde blamed her department for sending wrong answers to parliament. Look where that got her - in the queue of the unemployed.

• Write to hogarth@sundaytimes.co.za