Jealous of nanny

14 November 2011 - 02:03 By Leonard Carr and Stephanie Dawson-Cosser
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I'm upset about returning to work and leaving my three-month-old child in a nanny's care. How can I overcome the envy?

SHRINK RAP

THE modern mother may be expected to, or choose to, fulfil both the roles of mothering and income-generating.

Your question highlights a sense of loss of the time to build a relationship with your baby.

The cause of your distress is the knowledge that your nanny will benefit from that on which you are losing out.

What makes it harder is that, since the baby is yours, the pleasure of bonding is rightfully yours.

You need to mourn your sense of loss. If you do not deal with your feelings and make peace with the situation, you will grow to resent the nanny and this could lead to tension in your relationship with her, which would be bad for the baby.

No one ever suffered from too much love.

The baby will also develop more social and cognitive skills by being in another loving adult's care. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

MANY mothers returning to work go through this turmoil.

Look around you. How many of your friends have survived the same transition?

Many, I'm sure. So it is possible to do it. For some it may take a little more emotional planning than for others.

Weigh up the demands.

Is returning to work the only option?

By clarifying your choices , you can take control.

During the last few weeks before work, start leaving your baby with your nanny for a few hours at a time, to build up experience for both of you. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser

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