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Tue Oct 21 05:49:33 SAST 2014

Weird meat website not for sensitive viewers

Andrea Burgener | 21 December, 2011 00:34

Andre Burgener has been immersed in all things food since she took over the making of the family's lunch box sandwiches aged eight (her mom could make a mean creme brulee and a staggering souffle, but could never butter the bread all the way to the edges.

ANT EXTRACT & ANTLERS

A FOOD site called www.weird meat.com looks like gratuitous shock-value stuff, but it's strangely compelling, and written in the most sanguine and non-testosteroney way.

American (now living in China) Michael Ohlsson's culinary exploration of odd animal bits, such as balut (a fertilised duck egg which is boiled), live drunken shrimp and blood soup, makes for fascinating reading. Go and look, but finish your lunch first.

SLAPTJIPS UNWRAPPED

The ideal cure for hangovers is often said to be the oiliest English breakfast imaginable. But a fine alternative is a big packet of slaptjips.

Good slaptjipsare thickly cut, fried only to a pale, soft state and doused in cheap brown or white vinegar, plus a copious amount of salt. They are always cut on site.

They should never have that weird orange chip spice strewn on them; vile stuff that makes Aromat seem like finest Parmigiano shavings.

Like everyone (I guess), I've tried many a bag of slaptjips. The best I remember eating came from the cafe near the legendary Crayfish Inn in Ramsgate.

Maybe they tasted so good because we were young and silly, or because we always ate them around dusk, sitting on the cooling sand at the top of the beach, blue-lip-cold from swimming for hours.

A good second best, even so far from the beach, are from the old Texas Cafe at 45 First Avenue, Parkhurst, Johannesburg. This place is famed for its slaptjips, even among those with gourmet leanings. Go there, hungover or just hungry.

SWEET TALKING

I don't know which wit first said that, like sex, even when pizza's bad it's good.

This is, of course, patently untrue (of both). But the sentiment applies to fruit crumbles.

Short of forgetting to add the fruit, you'd be hard pressed to come up with a bad crumble.

Here is one of the most delicious and easiest crumbles I know. Plums are plentiful and glorious, so this begs to be made.

Plum crumble for four: Base: two big cups roughly chopped plums, pips removed / two dessertspoons treacle or brown sugar / two dessertspoons butter. Mix plums with butter and sugar and place in 20cm-ish baking dish. Topping: 120g self-raising flour / 90g very cold butter, diced / five tablespoons light brown sugar / big pinch of salt. Rub flour and butter together with fingertips, keeping crumble macadamia-sized lumpy. Mix in sugar and salt, lightly. Sprinkle topping evenly over base and bake at 180C for 30 minutes or until golden-brown. The lovely crimson juices from the plums will ooze through the topping. Serve post-haste with cream or ice cream.

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Tue Oct 21 05:49:33 SAST 2014 ::