Women and children last

CAPTAIN Francesco Schettino was cruising for Mampara of the Week when Limpopo premier Cassel Mathale made a strong bid.

As the true state of his province's finances was exposed to the world by Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan, he looked like a sure bet. But Schettino fought back doggedly.

First, he told a court that he had abandoned his ship by accident.

"I was helping some passengers put the lifeboat to sea. At a certain point the mechanism for lowering it blocked. We had to force it. Suddenly the system unblocked itself and I tripped and I found myself inside the lifeboat with a number of passengers."

But the deal was sealed the next day when it emerged that he had been entertaining a lady friend on the bridge when the ship struck a rock.

Perhaps the mampara was doing the equivalent of popping a wheelie to impress her when the tragedy occurred.