How to shaft someone and make them smile afterwards

AND so the worm turns. Four short months ago, Athol Trollip was the DA's parliamentary leader and Lindiwe Mazibuko its shadow minister of rural development and land reform.

This week the tables were turned as Mazibuko, now parliamentary leader, awarded Trollip her old shadow portfolio, which most would agree is not the sexiest political platform in the country.

But can Trollip complain? If he says he has been consigned to a backwater, Mazibuko could retort: "Ah, so that's what you were thinking when you gave me the portfolio."

He has no option but to grin and bear this surprising, Machiavellian turn from his arch rival.

In the words of Machiavelli himself: "Men should be either treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injuries - for heavy ones they cannot."

Now, now, don't be cynical

UNHAPPY ANC employees in Limpopo are reported to have complained that they were not paid this month.

This, in the month after the national government shut down the provincial government's out-of-control payments.

Now, a cynic would say that this series of events, if it is true, demonstrates that the ANC's salaries were connected in some way to the province's finances.

But Hogarth is not a cynic.

Shooting from the lip

SUSPENDED national police commissioner Bheki Cele has explained why he is suing the Sowetan newspaper for claiming that he wanted police to "shoot to kill".

He admitted that he had used the statement "aim for the head" while addressing police, but elaborated: "The statement 'aim for the head' was made after a police officer died. He was chasing the criminal and shot him in the leg and when he [the officer] approached the suspect, he was then shot and killed.

"If the police officer had aimed for the head, the suspect and not the officer would have been buried instead," he said.

Obviously, aiming for the head should not be confused with shooting to kill.

A hidden message in here ...

THIS week, South Africans were treated to advice from first lady number two, MaNtuli, who told young people in northern KwaZulu-Natal that child support grants perpetuated teenage pregnancies.

She went further, telling the girls to sit with their legs crossed and boys "with their zips closed".

Hmm. Now who could have inspired that piece of rhetoric?

A strange passion

THE Independent Democrats rose from the dead this week with "parliamentary leader" Joe Mcgluwa vowing to campaign over the next six months for the ANC's Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma to stay on as home affairs minister - arguing that her appointment as African Union Commission head would cripple the Department of Home Affairs.

It seems there's not much on their plate since party leader Patricia de Lille decided to abandon ship and incorporate the party into the DA, thus landing a plum job as mayor of Cape Town.

Would it make more sense for Mcgluwa to campaign for De Lille or Madam Zille to become president?

Trust us, we're politicians!

HOGARTH was relieved to hear from the ANC this week that it proposed "independent regulation of the media unencumbered by commercial or party political interests".

This is a substantial move from state regulation. Phew. Until you read the fine print.

The "independent" oversight the ANC envisages is to be conducted by parliament.

The ANC's MPs ably demonstrated their "independence" during the vote on the info bill.

When MP Ben Turok broke ranks and didn't vote for the bill, the ANC said: "Abstaining and using the media smacks of ill-discipline and will be handled internally by the ANC." Independent, indeed.

Write to hogarth@sundaytimes.co.za