SHRINK RAP

YOU are experiencing multiple losses, tangible and symbolic.

The tangible loss is that of your marriage and the prospect of having a child and becoming a parent with your former wife.

On a symbolic level, the ability to conceive is tied in with feelings of sexual potency.

Your sense of devastation is understandable.

First, you need to acknowledge and mourn all the losses.

Second, you need to forgive yourself for what you could not control and for any mistakes that you made that contributed to your plight.

Third, forgive your ex-wife and realise that the marriage could not have been working for you if it was not working for her.

Last, have hope for a future with a partner and children if that is what you choose. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

GRIEF has an interesting way of revisiting us at the most unexpected moments.

Discovering that your ex-wife is pregnant reopens all the wounds of the past. A situation arises and the pain is triggered.

You will pass through the emotional cycle again - typically faster - and will not take long to reach a point of acceptance again.

So, be gentle with yourself as you adjust to your reality.

It may be very helpful to attend a few counselling sessions to work through these times. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser