Treat us as equals
My eldest child says I'm too soft on her sister, and that we love her more. But they have different need. Should I worry?
YOUR daughter's allegation needs a response on two levels.
The first is literal, the other is the emotional and symbolic one.
Different personalities have different needs, but if you stop at this level and make this your response to your daughter, she will feel like you are skirting the issue and not hearing her message.
You need to respond to her emotional reality in a way that reassures her of your love.
When children carry assumptions that are immature and based on a limited understanding of reality, these can become firm beliefs through which they edit their story, make choices and operate in the world.
Often these beliefs get used as a reason for their wrong choices in life. - Leonard Carr
WHATEVER you say, you will not change your daughter's perspective without some serious intervention.
As a parent, it is important to treat your children as individuals within the family system.
The basic ground rules should be the same for all your children. Siblings, whatever the age gap, are very sensitive to "fairness".
Give both girls age-appropriate responsibilities, attention and routines.
It is easy for this situation to get out of hand and become an issue of manipulation between the girls and you if you do not navigate your parenting style carefully. - Stephanie Dawson Cosser