SHRINK RAP

WHEN you feel like running away, what you are really feeling is overwhelmed with feelings that you don't understand or know how to manage appropriately.

You may look at your mum being confident and naturally charming with a young man and feel envious or threatened by the advantage she has because of her age or sophistication.

Your mum may feel envious that you have youth on your side and the excitement of new love and a fresh start in life.

If your mum is really flirting you need to deal with this issue without running away.

You will encounter many relationships in your life and your mother is always going to be part of your life. So you need to learn how to manage this situation.

Start by giving your mum the benefit of the doubt and tell her that while you appreciate her being nice to your boyfriend, you would prefer if she kept a lower profile and gave you more private space with him.

If she shows respect and understanding you will know that she meant no harm.

If she dismisses your feelings,you may need to tell her what you feel in a more direct manner. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

RUNNING away is the natural response when we feel threatened.

The question to ask yourself is: "Is my mother really trying to win my boyfriend over for herself?"

If the answer is "yes", ask yourself if you are absolutely sure, and search for proof.

If your answer is "no", is it possible that what you perceive as flirting is actually a form of acceptance into your family?

Your boyfriend's perspective is important if you want to consolidate this relationship.

At 17, you are still dependent on a lot of your essentials being provided by your parents and family support system.

To run away may seem the easier option, but it is often not a sustainable one.

Rather tell your mother: "I feel uncomfortable with the way you behave around my boyfriend."

If you do not feel you can say it to your mother's face, send her an SMS or write a note.

This way she can initiate the conversation in response. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser