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Thu Oct 23 22:37:59 SAST 2014

The Joneses' schooling

Shrink Rap and Supernanny | 28 January, 2013 00:10
There are parents who could afford private schooling but choose government schools

My daughter goes to a government school. but she wants to go to the private school her cousins attend. I can't afford it. What do I tell her?

SHRINK RAP

YOUR question suggests you feel uncomfortable that you cannot send your daughter to a private school. You will not be able to help your daughter make peace with her situation if you do not first come to terms with it yourself.

A good starting point might be to deepen your appreciation of the school your daughter is attending.

There are parents who could afford private schooling but choose government schools because of the advantages they see in public schools. Consider these advantages.

You cannot teach your children to be comfortable with the choices you make based on values or circumstances if you are not sure why you made them. When you are sure about your values and what you believe, then you become the proverbial Joneses. Your daughter will not feel hard done by about keeping up with her cousins when she feels that you are the Joneses.

It is an important life lesson to teach your daughter to not take how much money you have as an indication of your worth. Teach your daughter to value and appreciate who she is and what she has. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY

The only worthwhile response is the truth. Having an honest conversation with your daughter about living within one's means is one of the most important discussions you can have with her.

Explain what your financial boundaries are and that others may have access to a higher family income. There are many superb government schools and if you have chosen the best one in your area, she is going to receive a quality education you can afford.

Support your daughter in building peer relationships with her friends at school and in your neighbourhood. She will quickly learn that which school you attend is not the only criteria for happiness.

Above all, keep your communication honest and simple. - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser

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