Jonathan Jansen
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'I don't want millions, I want to live without shame'

Some are critical, most encouraging, and every once in a while I receive correspondence that is truly moving and that needs to be shared with a broader audience. With her permission, I share this (edited) story of an ordinary South African teacher, and trust our readers will also be deeply moved.

Dear Prof Jansen,

I am writing to you just to get this heaviness from my chest. I am a woman teacher with 36 years' experience in the profession. I have worked hard to get the highest qualifications and I have been dedicated and passionate about teaching. I should be a master teacher, but I am one of these who must wait a little longer for recognition.

Today I received notification on my phone about my increase and back pay. I cried. R4000 - and this after waiting for months. R1990 was deducted from my October salary because of the strike. I feel sick just thinking about the frustration that I will have to endure to retrieve the money.

After studying and being a dedicated teacher for 36 years, I take home a salary of R10000. I am at debt counselling - not because I am a loafer, but because I cannot cope with expenses. I am a single parent with three girls. Two are at varsity and one is in Grade 10. Do I tell them education does not pay? What do I show them? I am a graduate with a BA in education, with a senior certificate and a junior primary certificate. I was awarded two merits in the apartheid era. My children think I don't know how to work with money. I am ashamed of my salary. I am ashamed that I am educated and living like a skepsel. There is very little I can afford.

I looked forward to this increase. I wanted to fix my roof, paint my house and have a decent Christmas. But how? I feel trapped. I cannot even buy a new pair of pants and shoes. I need to pay my cost-of-living debt. After 36 years I can't afford a car and a decent house. I am ashamed of my chosen profession. I can only put my head in my hands and cry.

I love teaching, but it is destroying my life. It destroyed my marriage.

It is even worse when I see uneducated people having a good life. I don't want millions, I want to live without shame. I want my children to feel proud of me because I am honest and hard-working. I want these virtues to be admired by my children, but instead I look like a fool.

I start school at 7.30am. We have two breaks of 15 minutes each. Meetings are held during break. For three days a week there are extramural obligations after school; functions on Saturdays and sometimes at night during the week.

I hardly have time to go to the bank as it closes at 3.30pm and we dismiss at 2.45pm. All this would be fine if it gave me dignity and if it were financially rewarding. My life is just going round and round. I experience no joy; yet I am said to be an excellent teacher. I have developed systems to make maths concepts easy in Grade 1 - my pupils can work with four-digit numbers.

But is it worth it? They read well, phonics and writing is excellent; but it does not make me as happy as I should be because I am in a constant struggle to survive. Not to make ends meet, survive!

I am losing the battle. Help me! I am drowning. I can swim, but is it worth swimming just to continue this struggle to survive?

I know you are not God, but thank you for reading my letter. I think that it is time that the education department should also say sorry to hard-working, honest teachers who are being frustrated and turned into poor, penniless skepsels instead of growing the system into a proud profession that we can brag about.

Bring back our dignity. Give us value. Let our education bear fruit that will bring abundant living like those with no education in government. Let the children live. Let the teachers celebrate, not mourn, their increases.

Give us our back our dignity.