In a strange way the trial of Jackie Selebi and the evidence offered by Glen Agliotti are like an inverted version of the post-apartheid era in South Africa. I've been following it as if it were a TV mini-series - with this difference: no screenwriter would ever create such stupid criminals and if they did, the TV networks would never buy it because it is so implausible.

Some of my journalist colleagues, who are following the trial, have expressed the opinion that all the players in this courtroom have detached themselves from any semblance of honesty. I pity the judge who must rule on this farrago because he has no real choice to make. There is no innocence here, just various layers of guilt.

It is a question of who is the greater villain, and behind that question lurks the much larger question of how much outside influence is being exerted. But who is being leaned on and who is doing the leaning? That is something we will probably never know.

The thing that really struck me was the accountant giving evidence telling the court that when he was writing out massive cheques, he wrote on the stub things like "cop money" or "JS" which, he alleged, stood for Jackie Selebi. Is that pure stupidity or just cynicism of the highest order?

The fact that the subsequent questioning raised the possibility that "JS" was, in effect, another cop with the same initials, raises questions about why that guy was taking money and what he had done to earn it.

Think about it for a moment. If you were paying a prostitute or a drug dealer for their services, would you write "pimp", "hooker" or "dealer" on the cheque stub? Didn't it occur to them that these shady dealings could one day be investigated and that by putting such obvious labels on them they were hiding nothing.

Could they not have devised a code that substituted other words for those obviously incriminating labels? Why not use "fast food delivery" instead of "pimp"; "sleep consultant" for "hooker"; and "undertaker" for "dealer"? Even crooks should be able to devise a sort of lexicon of fake terms that only they can understand. If they were going to be so blatant, why not just write "bribe"?

That would never happen in a movie or a TV series. Quentin Tarantino would never sink that low. Remember how in Reservoir Dogs the bad guys are referred to as Mr White, Mr Orange, Mr Blue and Mr Blonde, but I'll bet their cheques were not made out to those names. And, anyway, who uses cheques anymore? Or even the Internet for dodgy transactions, come to think of it.

Do these guys not watch Hollywood movies? Have they not seen how geeks and computer nerds can track transfers of cash on the Internet? It may look exaggerated for the cameras but it can happen.

The only real way to pay off nefarious colleagues is in plastic-wrapped packages of hard cash or in large quantities of drugs. Cocaine doesn't take fingerprints very well and I've never heard of any dealer being caught because his fingerprint (or noseprint) was on the mirror, credit card, R20 note, etc.

Actually, don't these guys watch CSI? If I were a crook, I'd be studying those shows like set works for matric.

But perhaps it's their arrogance or ignorance (probably both) that finally hauled them into the courtroom.

Let's not forget that one of the most notorious criminals, Al Capone, was never found guilty of any of the crimes he committed. He was caught because he did not pay his income tax. That's what took the man who carried out the St Valentine's Day Massacre into a cell, and it was syphilis that took him to the grave - and into the history books, which is another story altogether.

That's what I find so disturbing. If I were to do a police line-up that included Al Capone, Albert Schweitzer, Wilhelm Röntgen and Frederick Banting, I'm willing to bet that people would all recognise Capone, while the others - a great missionary, the man who discovered the X-ray and the guy who discovered that insulin prevents diabetes - would not be recognised.

But exposure could also be a part of this ploy. Bad guys inevitably get more news coverage, more exposure and have a much higher social profile than law-abiding citizens who do honest jobs, steer clear of crime and try to build a safe and honest society.

Notoriety is a kind of shield and criminals always have accomplices as opposed to friends. The protection afforded by a network of people who will lose a great deal when a well-connected criminal falls can be as effective as a private army that provides the kind of protection that will allow you to write whatever you like on the cheque book stub.

Exploring

South Africa’s largest street festival is the OBZ in Observatory, Cape Town’s oh-so student centre, where they stage a two-day, live music event featuring the city’s and South Africa’s emerging urban youth bands. There’s a jazz afternoon, a great craft market, wonderful food stalls and because it is off the touristy streets of Cape Town central it has a laidback, multi- faceted vibe of its own. It runs from December 2 to 4 and it starts at noon every day. Check out www.obzfestival.com for more.

Rising

South African tenor Johan Botha has certainly come a long way from his days singing at the Roodepoort Theatre in Gauteng. The current series of HD movie versions of the hits of the Metropolitan Opera features Botha singing Radames in Aida with some of the most dazzling names in contemporary opera. You will find these only at the Cinema Noveau complexes but they are worth the schlep. Book a ticket at www.sterkinekor.co.za.

Reading

Just when you thought you had read everything possible about the Tudors, Henry VIII and his six troublesome wives, along comes this massive, overwhelming and compelling novel Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel, who won this year’s Booker prize for fiction. It’s about Master Cromwell, a zealous, complex man who schemed and manipulated behind the scenes of Henry’s cruel and dramatic reign. It’s a sensational view from the sidelines . Order it at www.exclusive.books.