Many people, especially of my generation, will think recognition of the monument as a symbol of nation- building is rather fanciful.

Back in 1937, the Voortrekker Monument was built as a symbol not of nation-building but of Afrikaners' right to rule over South Africa, and to commemorate the Afrikaners who, in the mid-19th century, pushed northwards from the Cape, into territory unknown to them.

The monument was inaugurated by apartheid prime minister Daniel Malan 12 years later.

I visited the imposing 40m-high, square granite building earlier this week and found scholars scurrying about the garden. A bus full of French tourists were taking photographs from the stairs leading to the monument's entrance.

"You get a lot of Chinese tourists here too," said a worker who declined to give his name.

"That's why our directions and signs inside are also in Mandarin."

He was selling guide books in French, Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, English and Afrikaans, DVDs and postcards and plastic carrier bags bearing the names of Afrikaner heroes, such as Jopie Fourie and Danie Theron.

On the floor below the entrance - the base of the monument - while I admired the impressive artworks by Jacob Hendrik Pierneef, an old man was wheeled around the cenotaph.

Here, at midday every December 16 (the anniversary of the battle between Voortrekkers and Zulus at Blood River) a ray of sunlight shines through the roof of the monument dome and strikes a central stone bearing the inscription "Ons vir jou, Suid Afrika (We are for you, South Africa)".

The red granite cenotaph is the symbolic resting place of Piet Retief and other Voortrekkers who died during the Great Trek of 1838, and the ray of light is said to symbolise God's blessing.

"I've worked here since 1979 when I got very little, if any, pay because the site wasn't making any money back then," said another worker.

"[The place] means nothing to me. It's for Afrikaner people. You don't see many black people here."

Back outside, I visited the Hall of Heroes, with its 27 marble reliefs depicting the Great Trek.

A Dutch family stood awkwardly taking pictures.

One said to me: "This is a monument for perseverance. It is interesting that some of the immigrants that came here all those years ago were Dutch.

"I'm from Holland, but I've been living in South Africa for 19 years - it means nothing to me."

With my elementary Afrikaans, I chatted to this man, who had interesting views about reconciliation.

"I was born during World War 2, which ended when I was four. We [Dutch] had an extreme hatred towards Germans. I remember back then when I visited England, because of my accent, I was nearly turned away from a hotel because the staff thought I was German."

He said Home Affairs Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma and her peers still have a mountain to climb to get South Africans to support their nation-building initiatives, which evoke painful memories.

This week Dlamini-Zuma also announced other monuments and memorials to be built or unveiled to "celebrate our heroes and heroines who led the liberation struggle".

The house to which Winnie Madikizela-Mandela was banished, in Brandfort, Free State, is among them. The graves of struggle heroes would be restored and declared heritage sites, the minister said.

Walking back down and away from the monument, I could not help thinking that this is just not my history. But I needed to justify to myself why I felt so unmoved.

I walked into the expansive souvenir shop next to the restaurant, where black workers conversed in Afrikaans. More DVDs and books, including The Blood River Vow by the Voortrekkers of 1838, were on sale.

Shop owner Elize Crous told me that the number of South Africans coming through her doors has increased in recent years, but the overwhelming majority of visitors are still foreign.

I asked why she thinks the monument should be recognised.

"It's for all South Africans. It's special to me. We've struggled to get it to have heritage site status ever since I opened the shop here 11 years ago, so I'm very proud," she said.

Had it not been for a media pass, I would have beaten myself up for paying the entrance fee.