Lately it's been the cooking.

This is not as bad as it sounds. On MasterChef Australia, you get to see Australians cry.

The last time that happened was when Kim Hughes blubbed through his resignation of the Australian cricket captaincy at the Gabba in 1984.

That was an occasion for lachrymosity, if you were Australian. Their cricketers had been overwhelmed at the Waca by one of the great West Indian teams before being humbled again 10 days later at the Gabba.

The West Indies won the third game too, wrapping up the series with two to play. But by that time Australia had put in charge the bloody-minded Allan Border to succeed Hughes, who would later succumb to apartheid's shilling and lead a bunch of boycott-busting Aussie rebels to South Africa.

Border began to restore Australian cricket pride and soon made his mark as an unyielding captain in the heat of battle.

During the famous tied test match against India in Chennai two years later, Border was batting with Dean Jones, who was clearly suffering from a combination of heat exhaustion and Delhi belly.

There was even some barking at the pitch from Jones, who valiantly reached a century. Then, even more valiantly, he approached Border for permission to leave the field.

The skipper, a hard man from Queensland, regarded his enfeebled Victorian batting companion with a steely look.

He made it clear to Jones that if he could not handle the situation, he would get someone tougher - probably from Queensland - to do the job. Jones stayed on, made 210 and when he was finally out they rushed him to an ICU. Border made 106. No crying there, for sure.

This heat-and-kitchen metaphor is a bit like the Aussies in MasterChef. It must be as unnerving to enter this competition as it would be to face Marshall-Holding-Garner in that aforementioned Waca test.

It took only those three West Indians quicks to bowl out Australia for 76 in the first innings. Curtly Ambrose didn't even get to bowl until the second when the Aussies put up a bit more resistance and he took two wickets.

MasterChef is a lot like Aussie cricket. Cooking with Gary Mehigan, George Calombaris and Matt Preston standing in judgment can seem like batting with Border, Steve Waugh and Shane Warne behind you in the slips - then have them act as umpires too.

They try to be nice about it, especially Mehigan, who is a kind of good cop Tubby Taylor, but you know they're out to get you.

Preston's gait might resemble Warnie's after a few hundred Mars bars, and he's always ready with a metaphorical flipper (the ball, not the cooking utensil) by getting in the last word.

Calombaris looks like a bloke who will sledge you from the time you take guard until the umpire gives you out. It's the shaven head, I guess.

There's a picture of him on Google and he looks about as intimidating as Merv Hughes without a moustache, a sight not seen since the famous Aussie fast bowler was three years old.

Facing this trio are the aspirant MasterChefs who cry and hug a lot when they are given out. But when it came to the last few overs last week, they put their heads down and chased the winning target like a pair of Aussie tail-enders determined not to give up their wickets easily. Adam got there just ahead of Callum with a pudding that was worth a six over extra cover. This MasterChef XI also debunked a personal long-held myth that Aussie cuisine is just throwing another prawn on the barbie.