Mike Moon: A recent viral YouTube video is about a US horse race featuring two runners with a daunting sum of names - Thewifedoesntknow and Mywifenosevrything.

Monmouth Park race caller Larry Collmus does a splendid job of describing the race to the line.

You pick up a note of alarm at his looming mouthful as the two fillies challenge for the lead off the final turn. "It's Mywifenosevrything and Thewifedoesntknow! They're one-two - of course they are!"

As they pass the post, Larry yells: "Mywifenosevrything - more than Thewifedoesntknow! Whew!"

Another YouTube video has caller Ted Durkin tackling a win by the ludicrously named DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo. Ted goes the brave route and breaks into song.

All manner of dodgy names are being mulled over for the thousands of thoroughbreds being born in South Africa in the current foaling season.

Most breeders register traditional racehorsey names, but there will be jokers. Setting verbal traps for race commentators or sneaking rude innuendo past Jockey Club officials is a naughty thrill.

In recent British races shown on Tellytrack, I noticed commentators repeatedly calling out "Eyemaneejit" and "Imjabberin".

Strictly speaking, this type of name isn't allowed, but wacky ones do make it to the track.

An infamous off-colour example was that of Hoof Hearted, an American horse that won races in the late-1980s, resulting in endless jokes about coming from behind and winning by a nose. South African officials seemed oblivious to this nonsense when they allowed the same name in 2000.

Authorities are supposedly more vigilant now, but pranksters will have their way.

It took a while for British racing suits to ban Wear The Fox Hat - and only after it was shouted loudly by Irish punters; and even longer for them to twig on to sniggers about Sofa Can Fast.

The US has allowed Hardawn, Wrecked Em and Bodacious TaTas into its staid studbook. A horse called Panty Raid made it to the prestigious Breeders Cup meeting a few years ago. In the Antipodes, the horse Richard Cranium had quite a following, as did Whykickamoocow.

In South Africa, controversy has come from a syndicate of hard-partying owners who've named horses after farmyard animals: Mule, Donkey, Turkey, Chicken and Goat - with the latter being good enough to run in this year's Durban July and discomfort some people.

In the risqué department, I particularly recall Girl On Top, as my friend The Merry Widow always backed it with a cackle.

Talking of partying, there have been pearlers on the theme: Drink Me Pretty, Oliver Beer and Sotally Tober.

Sometimes the joke is at the horse's expense: No Speed No Feed, Forthegluefactory, Stake Or Steak and Really Bad News.

Actually, horses' names are more important to racing people than most of them let on. People are drawn to word associations and the sounds of words in an elemental way, I believe.

So, there's more to say on the matter. Next week maybe.

• Turffontein, tomorrow: PA - 2,4 x 1,3 x 2,5 x 7 x 3,5 x 6,7 x 1,2,7 (R96)