Caster reveals her agony over sex test

An emotional and depressed Caster Semenya has revealed the humiliation and anguish she endured when doubt was cast on her gender.

In a television documentary, South Africa's world champion 800m athlete pours her heart out, telling how she:

• Considered quitting after being subjected to the tests, saying she "didn't give a s**t about athletics";
• Wasn't "going to blame God" for turning out the way she did;
• Should never have been put in the spotlight because of her "deep voice" and "tough" demeanour;
• Questioned perceptions of what it meant to be a "lady"; and
• Felt no athlete should ever have to endure the humiliation she went through.

Semenya was tested after winning gold at the IAAF World Championships in Berlin, Germany, in August 2009 at age 18 - but has remained silent about the episode until now.

On Friday night, she stormed to victory in the 800m event at the Diamond League in Paris.

In the British-made documentary, Too Fast to be a Woman, Semenya also revealed how the psychological trauma of the debacle had taken a physical toll.

Semenya said: "I don't give a s**t about athletics any more. So, running or not running, it's the same story for me."

The filmmakers spent three months following Semenya in training and at her home in Limpopo, and interviewed friends, family, sports scientists and coaches.

The athlete told the camera: "The way you were born is the way you were born. Nothing can change it. I've got a deep voice. I know. I might look tough but what are you going to do? Do you think you can change it? No.

"If someone was born the way she was born, are you going to blame him or are you going to blame God? Whose fault is that? Nobody's."

Semenya questioned the demands placed on women to dress in a certain way to be accepted.

"What makes you a lady? Does it mean if you are wearing skirts and dresses you are a lady?"

She was backed up by sports scientist Professor Tim Noakes, who is filmed saying: "If you don't look like Angelina Jolie you are not a woman. There is a large group of women who are fed up with men telling them what they should look like.

"Gender is what you perceive yourself to be. If Caster believes she is female, she is female. There is no scientific test that can turn that aside."

Semenya said that despite the humiliation, she refused to go into hiding: "I don't give up. I'm not a quitter."

Semenya's mother, Dorcas, also told of what the family went through during the ordeal.

"When they started saying: 'She's not a girl, she's a boy,' I never had a problem. I gave birth to her. And, as a mother, I know that she is a girl and not a boy," she said.

But Semenya's grandmother, Mmaphuti Sekgala, was furious.

"She was born in front of us, and we saw her. We were changing her nappies, and we saw that she was a girl," she said.

Semenya's best friend, Violet Raseboya, said she was " crying " when Semenya told her about the tests.

"But Caster asked me what was I crying for. She saw my tears many times and I have never seen her cry. I always told myself that I will make sure that she is always happy and she must not give up."

A "depressed" Semenya would send her text messages, but Raseboya would urge her friend "not to give up on life".

"It seems as if she wanted to give up on her life. She can give up on athletics, it's fine. But not on her education. She must study. She is still young," said Raseboya.

UK-based filmmaker Maxx Ginnane decided to make the documentary after meeting Semenya in October 2009.

Ginnane said: "I wanted her to tell her story ... Everybody was discussing her and she had never had a chance to have her say. It was very hard to convince her as she showed no interest at all. She was treated badly by the press, and she did not want to engage with them any more."

Semenya was busy competing overseas and could not be reached for comment this week.

• The documentary will be broadcast on Top TV channel 110 tomorrow at 7.50pm