Man of the match upstages best man at wedding

Simnikiwe Xabanisa and Liam Del Carme: Following our lengthy stay in the sin-bin, Tightheads were relieved to hear that Pat Lambie was finally reunited with the over-sized cheque given to him for his Currie Cup final man-of-the-match performance.

We wonder, though, if young Lambie has any idea where that big ol' cheque has been. Said cheque was spotted at the George Sevens and a colleague's wedding in Umthatha in December. A Matchworld employee, who shall remain nameless, had been driving around with it in the boot of a small, souped-up French car. The guests at the wedding even took turns taking photographs with it and the groom to congratulate him on having "played well" earlier in the day by tying the knot.

THE vagaries of going on holiday means we weren't able to roll our eyes at Springbok and Stormers lock Andries Bekker's new tattoo. While he was out of the game with a back injury, the big fella got his tattooist to scribble 11 motivational points along his flank for his comeback this season. The tattoo reads: "I will conquer what has not been conquered; I will believe what others doubt; I have trained my mind and my body will follow; No one will deny me; No one will define me; No one will tell me who I am or who I can be; Belief will change my world; History will remember me; I will define myself; I can write my own pages; No one will tell me what I can or cannot be." With a tissue at the ready, we hate to ask: is the stuff really for his benefit if it runs along his side? We also hate to point out that the 11 points could, quite easily, have been summarised to about three.

IT'S come to our attention that the largesse of the Lions' new owners, Robert Gumede and Ivor Ichikowitz, has been extended to two of our number. The gentlemen, who shall remain nameless, were apparently invited to hop on the billionaires' Gulf Stream jet to attend the Lions/Sharks friendly in Cape Town, after the press conference to announce Butch James's signing. One half of the gravy-planers gushed that they had sushi on the flight, which prompted the obvious question of how it was consumed. The Blue Bull-supporting half of our colleagues said: "What happens at 30000 feet stays there." Fair enough, but we also happen to know that die Blou Bul eet nie sushi van die vloer af nie ...

NOT to be outshone by the All Blacks, several Wallabies compiled their own trick video during the Waratahs' pre-season training. While the All Blacks, most notably Ma'a Nonu and Israel Dagg, in their videos hit unlikely targets with a variety of kicks and passes, the Tahs put a goofball spin on the theme. The money shot in their clip is prop Benn Robinson being hosed down with ketchup. Check it out on http://media.smh.com.au/sport/sports-hq/battle-of-the-sporting-spoof-vids-2185399.html

FORMER Saru chief executive Johan Prinsloo admits getting the South Western Districts Eagles back to a fully functional union is a monumental task. "I wouldn't be so naive to say everything's moving in the right direction but we are making progress," said Prinsloo who is at the union in a caretaker capacity. The commercial arm of the union is yet to be liquidated, which puts the brakes on sponsorship procurement. "We have these obstacles but the players are getting paid and we have new jerseys," said the ever optimistic Prinsloo.

"I'M creating a thing that is going to sweep the nation," tweeted Bulls centre Stefan Watermeyer this week. " ... NO pants Sundays ... !! get it going."