Oh dear, what was he thinking, thought Tightheads when reading about the case against Kurtley Beale, the Wallabies utility back, who was caught driving without a licence and with the wrong number plates recently.

Under New South Wales law, the P-plates fitted to Beale's car are not allowed on high-performance vehicles such as his turbo-charged Mazda CX-7. The case was dismissed but what interested Tightheads was Beale's claim that he did not know it was a high-performance vehicle and that he'd given the muscle car to his granny. Gran Turismo, anyone?

"THEY'RE all off in Australasia while Rome is burning," one leading provincial administrator told Tightheads when asked about the mooted changes to the model by which Test matches are hosted in this country. The administrator, who does not want to be named, feels provinces need to be furnished with details about the proposals and should not be rushed into making a decision. "The burning issue for us is that you only have three unions who are providing most of the Springboks. We're not getting any compensation or recognition, to be honest. But that is a different matter." Well duh!

TALK of the Currie Cup's Premier Division reverting to six teams had provincial bosses reaching for their thinking caps. Boland's Piet Bergh made some rudimentary calculations. "Take teams like the Bulls and the Stormers, who already play each other twice in Super Rugby. If they reach a semifinal or a final they play three matches. And then they play each other at least twice in the Currie Cup. Surely you have to ask if the time hasn't come for the Currie Cup to be opened up to 14 teams in a single round again."

BERGH revealed a refreshing propensity to cut through the bull. "I know people say the Currie Cup will remain the (main) competition, but it's a bit like saying the touring Springbok team is not the B team but the real thing. Everybody knows (the truth)."

ANOTHER provincial boss followed Bergh's lead by shooting indiscriminately from the hip. "The smaller unions don't care about that much (about the big unions). It's almost like a tall poppy syndrome, where they want everybody to be equal." Then he veered off in a different direction: "We've got players out playing for the Boks or who are supposedly injured. I hope they're not training."

GRAHAM Henry's brusque riposte when asked about his decision to rest key players for the Test against Fiji reminded Tightheads of a similar response erstwhile England coach Clive Woodward had on the eve of a clash against the Springboks. Henry said he "didn't give a horse's arse" what people thought of his decision to rest key players. Woodward took a hard-nosed stance ahead of a Test against the Springboks when he was asked how significant it was to his team that the then-threatened Swing Low Sweet Chariotwas belted out from the terraces."I don't give a monkey's arse if they sing or not," came Woodward's terse response. What is it with coaches and that part of an animal's anatomy?