Simnikwe Xabanisa: It's official. A Glasgow kiss is only that if it is administered by a rabid South African named Bakkies.

How else does one explain Keven Mealamu getting a slap on the wrist from the IRB for head-butting England captain Lewis Moody last Saturday?

Judging by the execution, the New Zealand hooker has a secret DVD stash of Bakkies Botha's greatest hits, so similar was the offence to the Springbok lock's assault on the irritating Jimmy Cowan in July.

Yet Mealamu's sentence was commuted to only four weeks, whereas Bakkies got a bonus week added to the mandatory eight weeks for the transgression.

Despite finding the act to be intentional, the judicial officer also thought there were insufficient aggravating circumstances. He somehow saw compelling mitigating circumstances which ended up with the one-month ban.

One such mitigating circumstance was Mealamu's conduct at the hearing. How else are you supposed to behave at a hearing when they have footage of you being an absolute thug?

Botha was apparently in tears at his hearing, which didn't stop him getting a week on top of the maximum punishment they could throw at him.

Sure, Bakkies has been on the carpet a few more times than Mealamu, but when is a head-butt a head-butt a head-butt?

Most may point out that Mealamu - one of the dynamos of the All Blacks' so-called "new game" - got banned, so why the fuss?

The rest of the rugby world, including an increasingly paranoid South Africa, would sleep better knowing that the IRB was consistent in attempts to stamp out foul play.

And as for aggravating circumstances, Moody was touch-and-go to run out against the All Blacks last weekend because he had hurt his eye in a freak accident in which he got kicked in the eye while attempting to charge down a kick in club rugby.

The incident left him blind for 24 hours, and there was talk about him possibly never playing again.

Being hit by a blunt object in the back of the head - and I've always thought Mealamu's head fitted the description of a blunt object - could have done some damage.

But he's an All Black, an indirect custodian of everything supposedly good about the game to the spineless IRB. So he got off lightly.

And just to show how comfortable the All Blacks are with getting away with murder - remember the measly yellow cards per penalties story from earlier this season? - forwards coach Steve Hansen was sure they would appeal.

What's there to appeal?

From what I saw of the incident, Mealamu was late getting to Moody, so he thought he'd salvage something out of it by butting him on the back of the head.

It was a reaction that had Bakkies written all over it, but the All Blacks want Mealamu to go unpunished.

Contrast this treatment to that meted out to the world champion Springboks, who appear to have been actively targeted since their little "Justice for Bakkies" stunt last year.

If the rubbish referees who are assigned to their games don't do the job, the citing officer and his PVR always appear to be next in line to nail them.

And the saintly All Blacks keep getting away with it.