Judging by the quality of the stuff that has wound up in the Ridge's kitchen - full of shrapnel and splintered bone - it seems we got the bits that the church threw out

To make matters worse, it is going to be a very rabbit-heavy menu indeed.

John Kieser, the "marksman and problem animal control specialist", as the press are calling him here in Cape Town, has been hard at it on Robben Island. He and a colleague have been laying waste to the bunnies at night and with gusto, using small-calibre rifles fitted with silencers, and spotlights.

About 3500 have been shot so far, but Kieser believes there are still many more on the island, perhaps as many as 15000. A ton of bunny, in other words.

Their carcasses have been frozen and are ready to be distributed.

The better bits - the prime cuts - will be sold to restaurants and wholesalers to cover the cost of the slaughter. Most of the rest of it is being handed over to a church group for use in a feeding programme for the poor. Judging by the quality of the stuff that has wound up in the Ridge's kitchen - full of shrapnel and splintered bone - it seems we got the bits that the church threw out.

At least the rabbits reportedly died in a relatively humane manner.

No such fate awaits the bull at the centre of the Zulu first fruits ceremony known as umkhosi wokweshwama. It is to be ritually killed bare-handed by young Zulu warriors this Saturday at the Enyokeni palace in Nongoma, KwaZulu-Natal, in a ceremony presided over by King Goodwill Zwelithini.

A reader, Barry Edy from Durban, has e-mailed me some of the grisly details of what the animal will endure before it dies. Apparently, its eyes will be gouged out, its testicles will be torn off and its tongue will be pulled out as these "warriors" choke it to death with mud.

Steve Smit and Animal Rights Africa are to be commended for going to the courts in an attempt to stop this happening.

And how pathetic of the Inkatha Freedom Party to attack them for doing so. In a motion tabled at the provincial legislature this week, IFP MPL Blessed Gwala doled out the by-now predictable defence that this was a cultural practice.

"The whole approach of these so-called activists in our view is intended to disdainfully depict His Majesty and the Zulu nation as people who are still trapped in darkness," Gwala said.

"If they resort to being confrontational instead of approaching the issue through proper channels and observing protocol, then we are ready to meet them at their game."

Huh? These "so-called activists" have been trying for years to put an end to this.

Gwala's fatuous comments that Smit and his group had "never raised a voice of protest against the painful manner in which fish are almost daily hooked out of the water by fishermen, which according to the IFP is painful and torturous" is not worthy of comment.

Which brings us to the Ridge's preferred moron, the ANC Youth League president.

Jelly Tsotsi's utterances in his spat with Jentle Jeremy Cronin, the deputy minister of transport, in what has passed as a debate on the nationalisation of our creaky old mines, has so moved the Gauteng branch of the Young Communist League that it has released an important response in this regard.

Zealously note the following verbatim extract:

"Julius is a tender-preneur, not a genuine entrepreneur but a parasitic petty capitalist who relies on political proximity to different spheres of government and associated tenders.

"We have no reason to be threatened by a disrespectful Julius's empty rhetoric that is aimed at entrenching accumulation from taxpayers' monies through an attempt to derail the National Democratic Revolution into a Tenderlution - parasitic capitalist struggle for survival from tenders.

"We support all parents to continue motivating their children; and all young people, Black and White, to prioritise education. We call on all parents to intensify efforts in teaching their children the dangers of learning from Julius."

On the contrary, there is perhaps much that can be learnt from studying the ways of our Jelly. After all, the number of commentators and political fundis who now regard him as really quite intelligent grows with each passing week.