'I don't have it in me to self-destruct': Zonke Dikana

11 October 2015 - 02:00 By Pearl Boshomane

Zonke Dikana's new album 'Work of Heart', released last month, is equal parts hard work and heartbreak, writes Pearl Boshomane "Sometimes I feel like a fraud!" Zonke Dikana declares with a big smile, her eyes lighting up. "I feel like such a fraud because it's like something takes over and then when I listen back to the music I don't remember how I created it. Not because I think it's brilliant - no. I just don't remember how I come up with some stuff. It's like I black out. It's like something takes over and then I wake up."The singer is describing her studio process, what it takes to produce albums that are as loved by her loyal fans as they are by radio station playlists. We're at Bean There, a coffee shop at 44 Stanley in Joburg on a Tuesday morning, and Dikana's subtle magnetism and restrained bubbliness have me in their grip.Those words sound contradictory, yes, but once you meet Dikana they make more sense. She's introspective but not self-involved, candid but not rude, open yet still mysterious - you can't help but fall in love with her.story_article_left1Her third studio album (technically her fourth, but her first was only released in Germany), Work of Heart, was released last month. It's Dikana at her most soulful, a beautifully arranged album on which her stunning vocals often take centre stage but never overpower the music that accompanies it. Like all her music, she produced it herself - a fact often ignored.In fact, Dikana says people are often sceptical when they find out she's a producer. "People are like, 'Really? How did you do it, can I come to the studio and watch you work?' They want to see it if it's true, because you're a woman," she says. "They don't offer to join a guy in studio to watch him work, because they believe him."She takes it all in her stride. "I'm used to it," she shrugs. "I'm used to working 10 times as hard to prove myself. That's how my career's been built. Nothing's been handed to me. I've always had to work a million times harder. That's how it is. But the rewards are a million times more than anything."Work of Heart has been a long time in the making. When Dikana began recording it, her older sister Lulu was recording her own I Came To Love album (released a year ago this month). After Lulu died in December last year, Dikana stopped recording. "It took me a while to get back to the studio," she says. When she eventually went back to working on the album, it would be six months before it was complete.The Dikana sisters had planned to sing a duet on Work of Heart, the track Heavenly (it appears on the album sans Lulu), but their similar personalities meant they clashed too much to actually complete the track.Dikana smiles as she tells the story: "I remember I played that song to Lulu and I said: 'I know we said that we're not going to work together, but listen to this song, I want you on this song' ... But Lulu, being exactly like myself, wanted to interfere with the music. She wanted me to make it funkier, but I said: 'Don't worry about the music. I'm the producer - I'm inviting you to perform on this track ... Let me do the song and you worry about your verse. And she said, 'You know what, it's fine. This is why you and I don't work together: both of us are hot-headed,' and it ended there."Dikana chuckles, before adding: "At the same time, had she been on Heavenly, I wouldn't be able to listen to the song. Even right now I cannot bring myself to listen to her album ... It's hard. Even when I hear her stuff on radio I switch to another station. It's difficult. Very."full_story_image_hleft1One of the album's highlights, Meet Me In My Dreams, is a touching tribute to Lulu. "It breaks my heart every time," says Dikana. "I like to listen to it because it's like I'm talking to my sister. But it just always gives me this lump in my throat and I wonder how I'm going to perform this song. Initially the song was mid-tempo and then I decided to pick it up some more because if the tempo is a bit faster then I'll be able to get through it on stage."The track S.O.S (Release Me) is breezy and beautiful, despite the fairly intense lyrics: "Where do I go, who do I call? Will you hear my cry? Have you forgotten me? Can somebody hear me? I'm just a girl trying to break free ..."Although the song - like all of Dikana's music - is open to interpretation, it's actually about a very specific situation. "It's about the girls that were abducted in Nigeria. I never specifically say, 'Please help me, I was taken.' I don't write like that. I write in a way that's open so people can just fill in their own stories."I put myself in the shoes of those girls [but the song] is about anybody who is in a situation they don't want to be in. For some people it's a relationship, it's a friendship. It's someone saying, 'You'll never have my heart, so release me.' Sometimes you stay in something that is not working and you feel like saying, 'Please release me. I've been staying because you've been holding me hostage'."The message of freedom resurfaces in the funky Free State of Mind (which has a bass line Sade would kill for; listen to it below). The song is about letting go of the guilt felt by those who have lost a loved one."We carry a lot of guilt sometimes, especially when we lose people. There's so much you wanted to say, or you feel guilty because you know the plans that they had, and you wish to carry on their plans. So when you can't make them happen you feel so much pain."So it's like you know what? I got to know my sisters, I have an amazing family, I had an amazing father who gave me this gift, I learnt a lot from Lulu. I just don't want to feel guilty anymore."Most of the time you self-destruct when you carry that burden. That's one thing I've discovered about myself: we all have a self-destruct button, but for some of us it doesn't work. It's just there for decoration. Sometimes you want to fall apart and cry, but I'm so hard on myself that even taking a moment to just fall apart in private doesn't happen. That's because of the music. Thanks to the music. I don't have it in me to just self-destruct."story_article_right2Here's an artist who has no interest in keeping her art mysterious - she loves discussing the meaning of her songs with fans, and she especially relishes hearing other people's interpretations of her music.Dikana sings mainly in English on Work of Heart, a departure from her previous album Ina Ethe which was largely in Xhosa. When I ask her about the change in language, she gets slightly annoyed, pointing out that one of her biggest hits, Feelings, is in English."Isn't it one of our 11 official languages? I wanted to reach everyone. On Ina Ethe there was English, there was Xhosa ... Jik'izinto [one of the album's most popular songs] had Shangaan. We are an English-speaking country and we do have people who don't understand Xhosa or any of our vernacular languages. It's important for me as a musician to not be bound to one country, or even one continent. English is a universal language."Later on, while we're chatting about something else, she brings up the language issue again. "Who doesn't know I'm Xhosa?" she asks, smiling. "Who doesn't know I'm South African? To me, the language thing is not an issue. The song has to touch you; it doesn't matter what language it's in. Hence I could go around the world and perform for people who don't even understand Xhosa. Surely in South Africa we can be OK with songs that are in English ... It's not even about growth. It's about reaching a wider audience."Back to Zonke the producer: how does she know when a song is done?"The easiest thing to do in a song is to put a whole bunch of things in it. Holding back is the hardest part. It's like a painting - you need to know when to stop so that it doesn't look cluttered. The easiest thing is to throw all your ideas in there. You don't really know when a song is done, because you're always hearing that 'more' that you could add. Of course those things will work, but then again it would sound like a hot mess. I've taught myself now to just leave it. Less is more," she laughs.That kind of instinct comes with time."I don't normally have themes for albums, I just write songs according to how I feel. But I remember saying to my sister [Asanda, who is at the table with us] that I wanted this album to be as minimalistic as possible, instrumentally. I just wanted it to be as spacey as possible. That's the one thing I planned about this album: I just wanted the songs to breathe. I wanted the songs to be still, and then you listen to the vocals, and then you listen to the arrangements, and then you listen to the lyrics."mini_story_image_vleft2Performing is a big part of her schedule: she usually plays live shows a few times a week. It's important to her that she sounds as good onstage as she does in the studio. She decided years ago, after some advice from her step-mother, who was also a musician, to thrive both as a studio musician and as a live musician. She enjoys performing because "everything goes. No second chances, no second takes."Awards aren't all that important to her (she's won several). They're a pat on the back, something she appreciates but doesn't depend on to feel validated as an artist. "I wasn't asking for it, I wasn't waiting for it, but when somebody does notice, that kind of does feel good," she says. "If you are working for those awards and pats on the back, when they don't come you'll just crumble in a corner and die ..."In our country, you can have a cabinet full of awards and it doesn't translate to sales, it doesn't translate to endorsements, it doesn't translate to longevity. You mustn't be so invested in being rewarded."We've explored Dikana the musician - but who is Dikana the woman?She laughs, and pauses, before saying: "I don't take myself too seriously. That's why I can be one with my music and still be able to function in the world. When you feel the need to separate the two, you've developed this persona, this fabulous diva. And then that diva cannot be a mom at home. That diva cannot be a girlfriend. That diva cannot be a friend. Because we put the diva up there, 'I belong on stage, everybody's looking at me.' For me it's one thing, one down-to-earth person who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm the same person wherever I go, because I don't have some alter ego that's too good to be around people."Our conversation continues even after the recorder's stopped recording. Dikana speaks about keeping out of tabloids and living her life privately, mentioning that her idol is Sade Adu. "When she sings, 'My love is higher than the Empire State,' you believe her," she says. You know what? When Zonke Dikana sings "I'm a lonesome dove," you believe her, too...

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