Meet the people who swing swords at each other for fun

26 June 2016 - 02:00 By OLIVER ROBERTS

Oliver Roberts borrows some chainmail and steps into the ring with some medieval hobbyists Flabbergasted (origin circa 1765) is not a reaction I've assigned to many people, if any. It's not a word I particularly like, aurally or aesthetically. Something about the "flabber" I think.But now I'm prepared to make an exception. When, at a medieval fair a few weeks ago, I told Eric Viljoen that I had never dressed in 14th-century armour and wielded a weapon, he was genuinely flabbergasted. "What?" he said, chuckling with obvious flabbergastment. "You mean you've never swung a sword at somebody?"So I tried it. I borrowed someone's chainmail vest, "clamshell" gloves and period-accurate battle helmet and stepped into the ring and fought Viljoen - a seasoned fighter - for a whole minute.When I say "fought", I mean I mostly swung my (weighty) long sword at a fully armoured Viljoen who just kind of stood there taking the hits while a small crowd watched with glee.Every so often Viljoen would give me a smack on the helmet with his sword and the whole world went tinny for a moment, or we'd clash swords and I'd dance around feebly trying to look like I knew what I was doing and that I wasn't at all exhausted.One minute is a very long time when you're swinging a sword and squinting through the tiny holes in your helmet at your equally sword-swinging foe. Also, you don't breathe so good - the helmet is tight and your breath has nowhere to go so you're probably recycling your own carbon dioxide.I'm pretty fit but after one minute in the ring I was on the verge of collapse. Afterwards, Viljoen told me he's seen rugby players and MMA fighters don some armour and experience similar physical implosion, so I don't feel so bad.This is Full-Contact Medieval Combat (FCMC). It originated in Eastern Europe in the early 2000s and has spread around the world to include tournaments like the International Medieval Combat Federation world championships, which this year were fought in Portugal - where Alberton resident Hylton Kleynhans, who's ranked No4 in the world, competed. I've got a controlled violent streak that I'm tired of controlling so I thought, 'You know what, what sports are there that align very nicely with my love for history?' The sport started in this country in late 2012 and by 2014 Battle Heritage South Africa - the national sporting body for FCMC - was established and currently has about 26 members in its clubs in Gauteng and Durban.Historical accuracy is very important and strictly monitored. All armour and weapons must conform to the style found between the 14th and 16th centuries. Disciplines are long sword (where you just fight with a sword) and sword and shield (the shield can be a very effective weapon as well). Bouts are three rounds of a minute each, with a minute's break in between.Formats range from one-on-one all the way to the buhurt, or team melee, which sees 16 knights battling 16 others. In the buhurt the goal is to actually knock your opponent(s) to the ground, whereas the one-on-one format is points-based.Oh, and you're not allowed to point and stab with your sword, only swing it.I first became aware of Battle Heritage South Africa at the Joburg GeekFest in May.I had my doubts about the sport's geekiness. Sure, it's got the historical side that makes it kind of geeky, but the armour can weigh up to 35kg, heavier than many geeks themselves. "There's a kind of cut-off," says Viljoen. "You can be a little geeky, but it's tough and at that point you lose a bit of the geeks.""It's not larping [live-action role-playing]," comes a voice over my shoulder. It's Vicky Kleynhans, one of maybe a handful of women doing the sport. She tells me that if she wanted to spend any time with her husband Hylton she pretty much had to get into this.Most Sundays, Viljoen hosts practice at his Midrand home, where he's built a ring in his front garden. This Sunday there's a lot of discussion about armour, and quips about why the majority of FCMC enthusiasts are in IT. "We've got anger issues," says Viljoen.Daniel Harty isn't in IT. He's doing a masters degree in genetics. He's pretty lean but he tells me he used to do MMA, so he's hardcore. He's also half-Irish/half-Scottish - he's got the kind of look that would have him cast in a film like Braveheart as the mad-eyed Celt who would stab his own mum for a handful of silver coins. "I've been swinging swords around since I was a child," Harty says. "I'm hoping to get into this sport all the way, internationally if I can."Karl Smit is another dude with a little anger to unleash. He builds and maintains domestic aquariums and fish ponds. He's sporting what appears to be a historically accurate goatee. "FCMC is percussive therapy for me," Smit says. "I've got a controlled violent streak that I'm tired of controlling so I thought, 'You know what, what sports are there that align very nicely with my love for history?' And here I am."Battle Heritage South Africa hosts regular "fight a knight" events, advertised on their web and Facebook pages. Go to one, suit up and have some fun. It's exhausting, thrilling and a little disturbing, all at once. You might even end up all aghast with flabber.Visit www.battleheritage.co.za for more information..

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