Get your sex questions answered here

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng, media personality, medical doctor, mother and activist is our new sex therapist

She focuses on sexual health at a shared clinical practice at the Disa Health Care Clinic in Joburg, and is vocal in challenging cultural and religious taboos to raise awareness about good sex and relationships.

"Otherwise healthy and wonderful people are making decisions which limit their ability to enjoy sex," says Mofokeng. "There are lots of myths around sex and I often start with demythologising sexuality."

Her interest in reproductive and sexual health was sparked after graduating from the University of KwaZulu-Natal. During her community service on Joburg's West Rand, she trained nurses on how to roll out antiretroviral treatment for people living with HIV/Aids.

Seeing how sexual violence affected the lives of adults and children, pushing up the rate of HIV infection, she was motivated to work in public education around sexuality.

That was six years ago, and Mofokeng is now a media personality, presenting a sexual health feature weekly on Kaya FM and appearing on TV programmes.

sub_head_start 5 minutes with Dr Mofokeng sub_head_end

What questions are you most frequently asked?

How to enhance performance. And frequency. I also get asked about sex during menstruation.

Does anyone talk to you about anything besides sex?

No! Somehow the conversation always gets around to sex.

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What is bothering South Africans right now?

Time. Particularly for women. They do too much and the frustration in the boardroom leads to frustration in the bedroom.

Are men and women on different sexual wavelengths?

Are we? The truth is that for women sexuality is suppressed. But we also like sex! We have a clitoris, which has the most nerve endings in the body, more than the penis. Why are women not embracing their sexuality more? Women have a period for a week, preceded by PMS for a week. That leaves two weeks where they are probably inclined to have sex.

Add to that late nights at the office, sick kids, etcetera - relationships need to be worked on. Sex is an emotional thing, for men and women. Men must be allowed to let their feelings show. There is a trend of binge sex, linked to this online availability and evolution in dating. It is not good for the heart.

What is unique about sex in the South African context?

For one, South African women are among the highest consumers of pornography in the world. And not everyone is in a committed relationship - there are many relationships where spouses live apart.

What is your biggest aim for South Africans and sex?

That we find out what we like, and do it safely.

E-mail your questions about sex and sexuality to lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za with SEX TALK as the subject.