Sex talk: Our sex life is a snooze-fest. How can we heat things up?

23 October 2016 - 02:00 By Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng
subscribe Just R20 for the first month. Support independent journalism by subscribing to our digital news package.
Subscribe now

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng answers your sex questions

Q: Our sex life is in a rut. Can you help?

A: Many couples get into a rut in their relationships - the honeymoon phase is long over, both partners become really comfortable with each other, and they fall into the predictable routine of daily life.

This phase very soon spills over into their sex lives.

We often don't think twice about how intense and busy our lives are, but if we do not manage work stress, financial pressure, infidelity, insecurities and other issues that can affect our relationships and health, the result can be the death of spontaneity, loss of sexual desire and general unhappiness.

story_article_left1

To put the spark back in your sex life, try introducing some new ideas into it or ask your partner to do things differently.

Possible ways to start on the journey to renewed passion include getting a sex toy, trying a new position and experimenting in an unfamiliar location. You should ensure that your partner knows what to expect and is keen to try the new experiences.

It is important that your partner trusts you and you can achieve this by making them part of the journey. For example, involve them in choosing the location or the toy. Always maintain open and honest communication.

A fulfilling sex life is a journey that requires respect for your partner's boundaries; playfulness; and an open mind.

Follow these tips:

• Keep it simple;

• Make it exciting;

• Choose the right time when neither partner is rushed; and

• Have fun.

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, DISA Clinic, 011-886-2286, visit Safersex.co.za

DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT SEX?

E-mail your questions to lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za with SEX TALK as the subject. Anonymity assured.

subscribe Just R20 for the first month. Support independent journalism by subscribing to our digital news package.
Subscribe now