Cute today, mortifying tomorrow: 5 golden rules for sharing your child's life on social media

06 November 2016 - 02:00 By Claire Keeton
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With a smartphone you can effortlessly document almost every second of your child’s life – and instantly share it with the world via social media.

But just because you can, doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

You might think it’s funny to share a video of your toddler hugging a dead squirrel now, but how will they feel about it one day when they’re a teenager? (And yes, this video really exists; it’s had over 5 million YouTube views so far.)

Clinical psychologists and experts advise parents to err on the side of caution when posting about their kids online.

Otherwise, as in recent cases in France and Australia, one day your kids may sue you for violating their privacy.

Follow these tips:

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1) Ask your child’s consent

Ask an older child for their permission before posting images of them or sharing their quotes, accomplishments and challenges online.

If your child is too young to give consent, ask yourself if they’ll be okay with that content now and in the future.

“Once photos are out there, they are out there,” cautions paediatrician Bahareh Keith of the University of Florida, who led a study on children’s online privacy.

Joburg psychologist Tyrone Edgar adds that parents should realise that each post could influence their child’s life for better or worse. “This digital legacy can be retrieved and dissected by others with good or bad intentions,” he says.

"Even more likely, the child might one day want to have some privacy and control over his or her digital identity," says American law professor Stacey Steinberg, co-author of the University of Florida study.

2) If you want to vent about your child’s bad behaviour, post anonymously

Disciplining or venting about your child on social media is no different to standing on stage and broadcasting their problems to an audience.

Johannesburg psychologist Liane Lurie says parents need to realise that posting negative images or stories about their children could backfire. These posts could be used as ammunition for bullying, for instance.

block_quotes_start If your child is turning two, who would you invite to the party? Would it be all of your Instagram followers? block_quotes_end

3) Remember that real world rules apply online

Children needed the same protection on social media as their parents try to provide in any sphere of life. “There is a tendency for parents and children to assume the boundaries that apply socially don’t necessarily apply digitally,” says Edgar.

Keep the same rules about what you would not want to go public in a real social setting for online. Have family discussions and set ground rules about what is appropriate.

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4) Know who is able to access information about your child

If your child is turning two, who would you invite to the party? Would it be all of your Instagram followers?

Sharing information and photos with close family members and friends is appropriate if sensitively done. But if you have no privacy settings on your social media accounts and thousands of friends and followers, don’t reveal details about your child's life.

Get familiar with the privacy policies of the sites you use.

5) Always be aware of the risks of Internet predators

Do not share your child’s location and physical address and never show them in a state of undress.

Steinberg warns that information shared could be stolen or repeatedly reshared without parents knowing, potentially ending up in the hands of paedophiles or identify thieves.

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