Yaseen Barnes’s jokes are so awesomely bad they won the 28-year-old from Cape Town last year’s Savanna Newcomer comedy award, writes Shanthini Naidoo A Yaaseen Barnes joke needs a moment of silence before you get it. "I do Dad jokes. You know, the ones which make you think for a second, then you cringe, then you laugh," he says."Do divorcing Rastafarian couples fight for joint custody?" Ba dum tsh.His jokes are so awesomely bad that they won the 28-year-old from Cape Town last year's Savanna Newcomer comedy award.story_article_left1Take this painful example. "It is easy to offend an atheist. They've already let they their guard (God) down." Ouch."In school, I was the guy at the back with the last, bad joke. They would say 'Oh that's a Yaaseen' and suddenly everyone was doing 'Yaaseens'. Then I found Twitter, I was writing jokes in 140 characters. Comedian Gino Fernandez tweeted me to say I should try it as stand-up."He entered a competition, did 2.5 minutes of one-liners and won. Barnes started performing regularly, and later won the Savanna award. He's been paying it forward by reviving the open mic slot at the Armchair Theatre in Observatory - a Cape Town institution for upcoming comic artists."All the big guys started out at open mics. It died off for a while but we had to have a platform for future comics," he says. It is now a regular event.We meet at Starbucks on his recent visit to Joburg. "It is so weird how we buy into these fads from overseas. We have proper baristas and amazing coffee shops, why don't we queue for the little guys?"His philosophy extends to comedy: "South Africans are funny people. We have seen stuff happen and we can laugh at it. There are audiences for comedy. People are learning to come out and enjoy it more."The past year has seen him perform in ensemble casts, including an anti-xenophobia event, an Islamic aid campaign, and big-bill corporate events.A budding English scholar who abandoned his BA degree because it felt like "regurgitation", Barnes has found himself on writing teams for Riaad Moosa and Stuart Taylor, and satire show ZA News. "That is the gift of comedy. You can find the joke in any situation and break it down so a normal man can laugh at it."block_quotes_start I write in a way that would never offend them or let people judge them. My test for vulgarity is my mum; luckily she has a naughty sense of humour block_quotes_endHe is also writing his one-man show for next year, to cement his personal brand. "I see myself as a comedian who happens to be Muslim. The next Riaad Moosa. People who can't afford him, get me," he jests.A recent tour found him in Zimbabwe. "I'm rushing to get home. I'm literally in Harare to get back." Dead."The Savanna competition opened doors, and I found that South African comics really support each other. Every comic mentors the next. We sit in a group and bounce jokes off each other. When we travel, we stay at each other's homes."At home, his wife and family are exposed to his material first - the bad and the really, really bad. "Sometimes they don't laugh, none of the jokes work. My little cousins say, 'Do people really pay you to do this?'story_article_right2"I write in a way that would never offend them or let people judge them. My test for vulgarity is my mum; luckily she has a naughty sense of humour."He is also careful about crossing religious lines. "The industry can be tricky (alcohol is often sold at comedy events). The people closest to me understand what I do; that's what's important. I've turned down sponsorships, no big deal. I won't alienate the community that I respect and which supported me."Comedy Central called him up on the day he was due to take an insurance industry exam. "It was a choice. The qualification or telling jokes. I decided to tell jokes. People are paying me to make them laugh. I am genuinely happy, I have absolutely nothing to complain about."Except, possible dehydration from his dry, dry jokes. "A friend of mine said he learnt a lot from TV, growing up. He was raised on Sesame Street."I have diabetes, I was raised on Quality Street..."• The Savanna Newcomer Showcase is on May 29...