One of the most fascinating sections of biology is that whole evolution thing, as espoused by whatshisface Darwin, which deals with why organisms possess the characteristics that they do. Take hair, for instance. Not too many people have ever pondered why it is that our species has hair, unless they had been inhaling a blunt of ganja. Marijuana makes people think "deep thoughts".From my limited understanding, hair serves as protection from harmful elements such as UV rays, low temperatures and physical danger such as a blow to the head. Yes, blows to the head. It stands to reason that FW de Klerk would suffer more damage from a blow to the head than, say, Whoopi Goldberg. And if you think that a blow to the skull is not a realistic threat, try walking in downtown Durban while being a Malawian.story_article_left1Considering that our skulls are nothing more than brain housing, it is fascinating to observe how we treat the protection of that brain case. The whole skinhead movement is proof that human beings are the only species on earth with such an advanced erosion of self-preservation instincts that we will shave off evolutionary protective mechanisms.If you're thinking, "Yes, but human cultural evolution has created an array of headgear such as hats and helmets," my retort is: stop changing the subject and splitting hairs. Pun intended.My point remains valid. We're the only creatures on this planet with such poor self-preservation instincts. You're never going to switch on Nat Geo Wild and spot a porcupine sporting a mohawk, because porcupines possess sufficient common sense to know that although quills might be clumsy and cumbersome, they serve an evolutionary function.Think about it: the mohawk is nothing more than a statement that the "safety of the sides and the back of my brain box is less important than the thin strip on my crown". And it is for this reason that you've never heard of a gang of crocodiles with passion gaps or gold teeth operating in the general Salt River vicinity. Crocodiles know that chewing properly is an integral part of sound nutrition.Meanwhile, back at the human ranch, we're even shaving the hair down there. A Brazilian wax is nothing but a bold statement: "My eggs are all on their own from here onwards."block_quotes_start It stands to reason that FW de Klerk would suffer more damage from a blow to the head than, say, Whoopi Goldberg block_quotes_endIronically enough, for all our poor self-preservation instincts, we're incredibly obsessed with our hair. And I'm not immune to this irrational obsession. For the past 20-odd years my preferred hairstyle has also been that whole kaalkop (skinhead) look that is popular with black males of my generation.story_article_right2I blame American crooner and middleweight boxing champion Marvin "Marvellous" Hagler for injecting the cool into the bald look. Even our cabinet-minister-for-life, the über metrosexual Jeff Radebe, who used to sport a meticulously manicured afro, has joined the president in the shiny watermelon look.In recent times, I have noticed that some parts of my skull have become progressively smoother than others. So, inspired in part by curiosity about how advanced my hair loss is, and partly by stinging words from my seven-year-old who asked why I couldn't be like "other dads", I decided to allow my hair to grow for a month.And because I never do anything in half measures, I stopped performing the usual gardening services on the whiskers around my pie hole. The results were startling. I woke up one morning and was greeted by Joel Netshitenzhe staring back at me from the mirror, complete with that partial clearing on top of his head, à la Saint Augustine. The dreaded alopecia has struck a fatal blow to any possibility of ever having an afro again.However, there is still sufficient hair for me to make one last stand and sport that whole short back and sides "German cut" look. So the next time you run into me, look out for a chubby man bearing a resemblance to the '80s pop singer Colonel Abrams of Trapped fame.The seven-year-old who started all this told me, "At least you now look like a man, but a very angry man."My only defence is that I'm not the only one obsessed with hair. Derrick, a guy I knew about 15 years ago, was so particular about his haircut that during a fist fight he was apparently heard yelling at his opponent: "Wenzani, ung'hliphiz' i-cut?" (Why are you messing up my haircut?)story_article_left3Donald Trump, that poster boy for general buffoonery, clearly spends inordinate amounts of energy maintaining those wisps of overgrown pubes on top of his head.And during a recent sitting of parliament, while everyone else was "obsessed with Nkandla", as the president keeps reminding us, I was watching our leaders' hair.It occurred to me that the Rev Kenneth Meshoe used to sport those big, greasy curls during such auspicious occasions, with the help of Black Like Me products, no doubt.Looking at the sad sight on his head, complete with its own St Augustine clearing, I couldn't help but wonder if the reverend has ever accosted Herman Mashaba with the words, "Can you see what you've done here?"My hero when it comes to follicle matters has to be COPE MP Willie Madisha. He has been a shining light of consistency with that whole Savimbi look of his. In fact, I'm convinced that had he not thrown in his lot with that coalition of the wounded who left the ANC, the president would have declared Madisha's beard a national key point.E-mail ngcobon@sundaytimes.co.za or find him on twitter @NdumisoNgcobo..