Ndumiso Ngcobo asks why we suffer from herd mentality when new brands come to town. We're already creeping towards the halfway mark of this random cycle of 365.25 days called 2016. Around this time, I usually start compiling my annual lists, including one of my favourites: Things That Scared The Living Crap Out Of Me.Until recently, two events were neck-and-neck as contenders for 2016. The first was the aftermath of our republic changing ministers of finance almost as many times as a mother changes the diapers of a toddler who stole a bag of dried fruit. Especially the part where Deputy Minister Jonas told us that these diaper changes take place not at the Union Buildings but in Saxonwold.The second scary event was when the president announced to the republic that we had sent Feisty Schabir and Tony Yengeni to prison for - wait for it - arms deal corruption that never happened. That sent shivers down my spine.story_article_left1But both were usurped by an even scarier event last Thursday. The family was driving on the N1 from Pretoria to the Kingdom of the Zulu to behead goats. When we got to Midrand, around the New Road exit, we saw a queue of automobiles coming from the opposite direction, snaking back as far as the eye could see, moving at about 10km/hour. By the time we approached the Allandale off-ramp on our side, we were also crawling. On the other side, cars were by now completely stationary.We switched on the radio just in time to hear Aki Anastasiou announce that the near gridlock was due to folks going to the opening of the Mall of Africa. After I gathered my jaw from the floor, I drove on, gobsmacked.And then one of my midgets asked the most apt question: "Are they all going there at once because the mall will close after today?"Mrs N and I spent the next 15 minutes trying to come up with the most rational response. Sure, mall openings always come with "massive" discounts that are always cleverly prefixed with "up to 75%" to stop the hapless shopper in their tracks should they question why they're only getting 10% off. My favourite T&C is "while stocks last" or "first 100 customers only", which explains why ostensibly sane humans would take leave on a Thursday to go park between the London Road and Marlboro off-ramps for two hours, twiddling their thumbs and picking their noses.Mrs N and I smugly concluded that people are idiots and we are superior human beings for not falling for these flimsy tricks. We are in dire need of a dishwasher in our house, we noted in haughty, self-congratulatory tones, but even if we had "saved" R1 000 on one, it still wouldn't be worth being stuck in the traffic and the mall for over four hours.block_quotes_start For those of you who posted selfies of yourselves on Instagram grinning from ear to ear outside Madiba's house while the family mourned inside, shame on you block_quotes_endBut is that the real reason folks descended upon the Mall of Africa like flies on a pot of ox tripe? The more I thought about it, the less convinced I became that this was purely about bargain hunting. You know the Las Vegas adage, "The house always wins"? Ditto shopping malls. I've been trying to convince my mother of the folly of supermarket hopping from the Hillcrest KwikSpar (because their toilet rolls and Handy Andy are on special) to the Richdens SuperSpar (because their vegetables are fresh and cheap) to the Christians Pick n Pay (because their bread, rolls and apple tarts are cheap). Mother dearest, I'm always saying, the R21.37 you "save" is nullified by the gas you burn.I believe that the primary reason is good ole FOMO - the fear of missing out. People just don't want to have to sheepishly admit that they are the only poor sap in all of Joburg who hasn't been there.The thousands who risked dehydration, hypothermia, the Cape Doctor or whatever elements were at play when Burger King opened in Cape Town three years ago didn't go there to save a buck. They went so they could stand around the tea station at work and go, "You haven't had a burger from Burger King? Ag, shame." The same goes for people who camped outside our first Starbucks coffee shop, in Rosebank. At least they arrived at work perky.story_article_right2But back to the point. I truly find this phenomenon terrifying. I think it speaks to that most disturbing of human attributes: herd mentality. And I know a little bit about that, being a lifelong sufferer of my own brand of sheep behaviour. Otherwise how do you explain that I'm a 44-year-old man who wears sneakers and sports a "fade haircut"? In my defence, "regular" shoes give me corns and I have started growing my hair again because at the rate I'm balding, I reckon I have another two years tops to enjoy what little hair I have left. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.However, this is not about my sheeple mentality but everyone else's. Yes, I'm talking to you. If you've ever queued at Pump Three at your local Engen, for 45 minutes because gas was going up by 43c a litre at midnight, just so you could save a whopping R36.54 on your tank, you're a sheep. If you've ever camped outside a book store overnight because the next Harry Potter would be available in the morning, you suffer from FOMO.For those of you who posted selfies of yourselves on Instagram grinning from ear to ear outside Madiba's house while the family mourned inside, shame on you. And if you're one of those twerps who stayed up until 3am so you could tweet a blow-by-blow of the first episode of Season 6 of Game of Thrones just to spoil it for "normal" folks by telling them that Jon Snow pulled the trick last performed by a Nazarene some 2,000 years ago: grow up, will you?E-mail Ndumiso Ngcobo at ngcobon@sundaytimes.co.za or follow him on Twitter: @NdumisoNgcobo..