By the time you read this it won’t matter who I voted for. When we go through elections with minimal loss of life, I am happy. I have low expectations, writes Ndumiso Ngcobo The elections are over. Praise the Lord. The gangster mentality that afflicts our species is at its peak during elections. It's almost impossible to make any utterance without being accused of being this, that and the other.You could say something innocuous like, "I'm walking 10km every day to try and lose some weight", and get, "Oh. I guess you're voting for Malema then?"By the time you read this it won't matter who I voted for . When we go through elections with minimal loss of life, I am happy. I have low expectations.I have good reason to get nervous around elections. I grew up in the KwaZulu-Natal township Hammarsdale - or Little Beirut, as it was dubbed during the '80s.The size of my cranium makes it almost impossible to miss,so it must have been due to the grace of the Almighty that I lived through that tumultuous period.story_article_left1Wearing the wrong colour T-shirt could decide whether you slept at home or lay in a mortuary. I know of a fellow who got sjambokked because he wore an Aquafresh T-shirt and the red was associated with the UDF.I made the near-fatal error of wearing a blue denim shirt and jeans. The KwaZulu police had a unit to deal with "political violence" that wore blue. Apparently wearing top and bottom blue denim made istaki(an IFP member).Some guy walked past my house while I was busy chatting up a pretty young thing (PYT, to quote Michael Jackson) he had a crush on. He walked up and unleashed one of the most brutal hot klaps I have ever received.As I lay on the floor, inhaling a mixture of tears, snot and blood, I was just grateful that I would live another day to continue pursuing the PYT. I was extremely focused when I was 16, you see.Last Sunday I was reminded of this incident and many others where I escaped being shot only because the would-be assassin was a rotten shot.I was driving to Daveyton in Benoni around 9.30am to buy this Russian deli wors from the meat market in the Shoprite Centre at the Esihlahleni entrance to the township. As I turned the corner I saw 12 to 15 buses bedecked in black, green and gold.Ah, the Siyanqoba rally. The entire street seemed to be black, green and gold.As I drove into the centre I saw a man wearing a yellow T-shirt, bearing the president's grinning mugshot, sprinting at about 30km/h, with a Stoney ginger beer 500ml buddy in his hands.He reminded me of the former heavyweight champ Leon Spinks due to his lack of teeth. Hot on his heels was a chap wearing a jacket with a security company logo.He was clearly ugqayinyanga (Zulu word for security guard which literally means "one who stares at the moon").block_quotes_start My only concern was that some of the participants in this kickfest clearly didn't pass Grade 10 biology, because they didn't know where it was acceptable to kick a thief block_quotes_endI'm thinking, "Are they related?" because the security guard was also sans front teeth.Ugqayinyanga was yelling at the top of his voice, "VIMBA!!! THIBA!!!" (Stop him, in isiZulu and seSotho). Sure enough, a conscientious citizen stuck out his foot and Leon Spinks fell face first onto my bonnet. Lucky bastard. He didn't have any teeth to lose anyway.This was the township, so even before the ugqayinyanga caught up, he was being smacked around and kicked. Stealing in a township is not a smart idea.My only concern was that some of the participants in this kickfest clearly didn't pass Grade 10 biology, because they didn't know where it was acceptable to kick a thief.I was thinking, "No, dude! You can't kick him in his medulla oblongata. That's just unacceptable!"Now, here's the interesting bit. This was all happening in full view of at least 300 folks clad in yellow T-shirts with the president's smiling face. I was thinking, "You better clear out of here because hier kom kak!"story_article_right2Oh no. About 50 comrades walked towards the fracas, calmly. Their only concern? Stop smacking him because it's illegal to take the law into your own hands.But he's clearly an opportunist and a thief. Lock him up! And then they walked back to their buses.At this point, my lower jaw was scraping the tarmac with incredulity. Back in 1990 this story would have had a very different ending. No one would have dared beat up an opportunist if he was wearing the right colours.The point of sharing this is that when I voted for the first time in 1994 it was vastly different. Political differences were usually settled by the old-fashioned method of "Who can shoot more accurately and duck the quickest?"People from my neck of the woods will remember Ntombela, Sichiza, Nkehli, Sifiso Nkabinde and the like. They will remember the "Lion of Umgungundlovu", Harry Gwala, who quipped "People who don't want peace will have peace imposed upon them through the barrel of a gun."Now as I drive through townships in Ekurhuleni, I see folks walking nonchalantly in their ANC regalia, red EFF berets, the DA blue or UDM yellow and I smile. I don't think we reflect and celebrate our successes enough.E-mail lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za or follow him on Twitter @NdumisoNgcobo..