Sunday Times sex therapist Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng advises on when to discuss protection and the effects of reinfections. Q. My girlfriend doesn't like us to use condoms, which means we are in danger of sexually transmitted infections. I am afraid to let her know that we have an STI because I don't know which of us gave it to the other. I bought medicine which cured the problem, but once we had sex it started again.A. One of the challenges that many people have in relationships is the issue of safe sex and negotiating continuous use of condoms. This conversation should happen early in relationships but this is not always the case.I agree it is not always possible to know with which partner in a relationship an infection originated.Untreated infections make one more susceptible to acquiring other STIs, including HIV. They can cause chronic pain, discharge and infertility. It is very important that you tell your partner that you are taking medication for an STI so that she too can get treatment.It is almost impossible to quantify the risk of acquiring an STI so I advise using a protective device, for example a female condom, dental dam, finger cot or male condom correctly every time one engages in oral or penetrative sex.It is also advised that you use condoms to avoid getting reinfected and to ensure the medication works.You may require couple counselling and assistance from a therapist or your doctor to discuss safe sex options with your partner. It may be uncomfortable to have this conversation but it is one that must be had, sooner rather than later.• Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, DISA Clinic, 011-886-2286, www.safersex.co.zaE-mail your questions to lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za with 'SEX TALK' as the subject. Anonymity assured...