Baroka FC bazooka their way to PSL's promised land

Class, what do Kaizer Chiefs, Moroka Swallows (rest in pieces), Chippa United, Polokwane City and Lamontville Golden Arrows have in common?

Hands up class! Yes, you in the corner in a green hat.

"They've all been bazookaed by National First Division outfit Baroka FC in the Nedbank Cup, sir."

That's a man-of-the-match answer, son, ke yona, it's the one.

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Founded just eight years ago, Baroka have always punched above their weight in South Africa's football association competition, with phenomenal giant-killing sprees in the 2011 and 2016 editions.

In fairytale runs they've claimed the scalps of their illustrious opponents on countless occasions.

Twice the semifinals proved to be the cul-de-sac of their sensational showings.

It took a 3-1 penalty shootout success for neighbours Black Leopards to stop the side then coached by Sello Chokoe in 2011. This season SuperSport United stopped them dead in their tracks.

In both instances, Baroka were dreaming of meeting Orlando Pirates in the final. But alas, theirs was a so-near-yet-so-far heartbreak saloon.

However, the jeers of missing out on the final will be replaced by the cheers of their imminent promotion to the promised land of milk and honey that is the Premier Soccer League. Today.

Perched pretty at the summit of the NFD standings, Baroka are 90 minutes away from entering the elite division of South African football.

Bakgaga, as Baroka are monikered, have had an excellent season, engineered by their eccentric and charismatic coach Kgokolo Thobejane.

You may dismiss him as a jester, what with his touchline jives while the match is in progress. But he who has beaten Dan Malesela, Julio Leal and Clinton Larsen is no joker in the pack.

One expects their penchant for showing scant respect for their top-flight opponents must continue now that they will be competing as equals.

No one expects them to be Leicester City.

But bet on them rattling the cage and ruffling the feathers of a couple of PSL peacocks.

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A draw is all they need against Milano United to spark the mother of all parties. Even a loss will suffice - second-placed Highlands Park will need to triumph 5-0 against AmaZulu to steal automatic promotion from Baroka.

Is that you I hear saying don't be so sure because stranger things have happened in soccer on these shores? Well, it will take a combination of a Mr Fix-It with special supernatural powers and a potent potion of sorcery to arrange that.

As Baroka seem set to ascend to the high echelon, there is a smallanyana skeleton in their closet in the form of Skhwama Samantaliyane (Italian bag).

That's the nickname for their player Tshepo Matete, who became a youtube sensation with his ball wizardry.

There may or may not be a protest concerning his registration, a situation which may or may not throw the NFD promotion scenario into a chaotic protracted battle. Baroka top brass sound confident that the papers are in order and it is only a matter of time before they kiss the NFD goodbye.

I guess congratulations are in order. Class dismissed.

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