South African men are not waiting to find the perfect partner to start a family. A growing number are opting for surrogacy to become single parents. Former top rugby referee Jonathan Kaplan announced to friends on social media last week that a surrogate mother is carrying his baby, even posting a 3-D ultrasound scan.Capetonian Kaplan, who turns 50 this year and holds the world record for the most rugby tests refereed, is said to be excited about becoming a father but would not be interviewed.In an article on the Comrades Marathon website, he says the child is expected on May 30, the day after this year's 89km down run from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, which he is hoping to complete.Jenny Currie, founder of egg donation agency baby2mom, said that since she started in 2007 she had helped 16 single men to become parents. The number was growing, as was the number of inquiries."As the dynamics of society have changed, so have different parenthood options evolved."It is no longer uncommon for a single man to recognise the need to want to become a parent and give back. Men also recognise their need to want to love and nurture another."story_article_left1Most of her clients were "emotionally and spiritually established", financially secure and "passionate about the journey".Just this year, Robynne Friedman, a lawyer specialising in surrogacy, has had four cases."A lot of men are not waiting to become parents until they find their life partners. They don't want to become older fathers and are opting for surrogacy," she said."It is definitely becoming far more popular ... the law doesn't discriminate against single parents undergoing this route," said Friedman, chief adviser to the Surrogacy Advisory Group, a not-for-profit organisation.Last year the group was involved in a landmark case in the High Court in Pretoria in which it was found that people may use surrogacy without having a genetic link with the baby. In the past the Children's Act of 2005 allowed surrogacy only when at least one of the commissioning parents contributed an egg or sperm, but the high court declared this unconstitutional.Friedman said a determination from the Constitutional Court was still awaited.Every surrogacy needs high court approval, but it is a long process and can cost hundreds of thousands. Not only are there legal fees, the parent has to foot the bills of the fertility clinic and egg donation. Then there are the medical bills of the surrogate, her loss of income, and at times maternity clothing, travel and vitamins.Friedman said there were "so many variables" in the process that it was impossible to estimate an average cost. However, the biggest-ticket amount would be fertility treatment - between R45,000 and R100,000.Jarrod Tisdell, 38, is the proud father of twins Jon and Ella, who are 16 months old.When he was 35 he decided he did not want to wait any longer to start a family. "I wanted to be able to be active with my kids and enjoy the benefits of being a young family," he said."Waiting until I had a partner would have been easier in many respects, but the extra work - and stress - was well worth it. I do worry about the kids growing up with only one parent, as I think there are many benefits to a two-parent environment, but I haven't given up on finding a partner."Tisdell used to be a US diplomat in South Africa and his twins were born in Pretoria, but he is now an executive at a US tech company. It took four separate IVF cycles until the surrogate fell pregnant and the process cost just under R300,000.story_article_right2He was thrilled and nervous to discover he would be getting twins. They were born at 25 weeks and kept in the neonatal ICU at Wilgers Hospital in Pretoria for several months.Tisdell said he could not "say enough about the world-class medical care and technology in South Africa"."It would be difficult to describe all the changes since Jon and Ella arrived. Life was turned upside down, but in the best possible way. I was completely dedicated to work and career for 15 years, and these little babies managed to give me an outlook and perspective on life that I thought I'd never have."Andre Lewaks, manager of fatherhood campaign MenCare South Africa, said only a quarter of children lived with both parents, according to statistics. Only 3% live with the father."I do not discourage surrogacy. However, I think it is important that parents familiarise themselves with the risks."The most important thing is that fathers get the same support from society as mothers and that fathers take up their parental responsibilities."davidsn@sundaytimes.co.za..