Police minister steps in to protect woman hiding from her ex-husband

21 May 2017 - 02:00 By ATHANDIWE SABA
subscribe Just R20 for the first month. Support independent journalism by subscribing to our digital news package.
Subscribe now
The woman has endured 30 years of abuse from her husband.
The woman has endured 30 years of abuse from her husband.
Image: Masi Losi

The Mother's Day text message from her former husband read: "Karabo Mokoena died a painful death because she thought she was clever, unfortunately she was very wrong so she was burnt alive. believe me u going that way also. I will find u."

The chilling reference to Mokoena - whose burnt body was found in a park two weeks ago after she was allegedly killed by her boyfriend - was followed by a second text: "I want brian and bongane to f*** u from the back n burn u alive."

The horrific threats terrified the 47-year-old Soweto mother, but they were not unexpected. She has been hiding from her abusive former husband for the past two years, seeking refuge with family members.

The woman, who did not want to be named, has opened more than six cases of assault, intimidation, kidnapping and rape against her ex, and has taken out restraining orders, with little result.

story_article_left1

On one occasion, a female police officer told her she could not open a case of assault because the woman had no visible injuries. The mother got a restraining order, but it took her ex-husband only one day to contravene it.

The man has allegedly tried to burn down her family home, assaulted her in front of their son and got two friends to kidnap her. After one particularly bad assault, she suffered a miscarriage.

But the text messages earlier this month filled her with dread.

"After all he had already done to me, I believed him when he said he would kill me," she said.

In desperation, she approached the Sunday Times for help on Tuesday. The Sunday Times put her in touch with Police Minister Fikile Mbalula. Within hours, Mbalula had stepped in and the man was arrested on Thursday. He is due to appear in the Krugersdorp Magistrate's Court tomorrow.

"I had nowhere else to go because every time I went to the police, someone told him I was opening another case, and he would still not be arrested," she said.

Mbalula urged more women to come forward. "There is no way a minister could be quiet after such a case has landed on his desk. A woman had been abused for so many years, we had to do something."

The woman said she met her ex-husband more than 30 years ago in high school. He beat her even then, and she had naively thought this was a demonstration of his love.    

In 1992 her only son was born and the abuse stopped for a few years, until her husband allegedly turned his wrath on his child. By 2010 he was back to beating her.

story_article_right2

"One night he slapped me, threw me to the floor, choked me repeatedly and beat me."

Three days later she had a miscarriage. When she told her husband, he said it was probably due to stress from her job.

It was only in 2015, after another severe assault, that she decided to leave.

Later that year she and her son were accosted in the street by two men armed with a knife and a gun. "I felt like I was in a movie - the terror that gripped me when they called my husband to tell him that they had found us."

At his house, he allegedly dragged her inside, ordering her son to stay in the car with the two thugs.

"He dragged me to the bedroom, cursing that I wasn't answering his phone and he would teach me a lesson. He pushed me on the bed, ripped my clothes off and raped me."

She and her son were kept hostage in the house for several hours until her brother tracked her down and barged in with his friends to save her.

She reported the incident to police and he was arrested, but was released six months later, while awaiting trial, with no explanation.

Now, at least, the woman can go outside without fearing the threats of her ex-husband.

"I want to thank the minister because I know my husband will not get out any time soon. I can sleep at night without jumping at every noise and my son and I can start rebuilding our lives," she said.

sabaa@sundaytimes.co.za

subscribe Just R20 for the first month. Support independent journalism by subscribing to our digital news package.
Subscribe now