Kids suffer for 'sins' of father after rows at sports matches

28 May 2017 - 02:00 By PREGA GOVENDER
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The headmaster of Pridwin Preparatory School expelled two boys because of the conduct of their father.
The headmaster of Pridwin Preparatory School expelled two boys because of the conduct of their father.
Image: MICHAEL PINYANA

Schools have regularly banned unruly parents from sports matches for hurling abuse at match officials, coaches and opposing team members.

But Pridwin Preparatory - one of Johannesburg's prestigious private schools - took the drastic step of expelling two pupils because of their father's alleged offensive behaviour on the sports field.

The school's headmaster, Selwyn Marx, told the father in an e-mail that "my cancellation of the contract has nothing to do with your boys, who are both model pupils, but has everything to do with your conduct".

The parents, whose sons aged six and 10 are in Grade 1 and 5, have gone to the High Court in Johannesburg to force Marx to reverse his decision, which they say was "unconstitutional, unlawful and invalid".

The school, in turn, has produced affidavits from staff, including match officials, that paint a picture of the father, identified as AB, as being rude, aggressive and confrontational on the sports field.

According to papers filed in court, one of AB's alleged run-ins with a match official took place during an under-9 cricket match at Trinityhouse Preparatory School in November 2015 that was umpired by Kgomotso Mokoele.

In Mokoele's version of events, AB confronted him while he was on his way to the toilet, telling him he had made a mistake in giving a child out. When Mokoele denied this, saying he was in a far better position to make the call, the father insisted he was wrong.

Mokoele alleged that AB became aggressive and swore at him, saying: "You fat f**k ... you don't respect parents."

AB, however, claimed that he politely raised a concern with Mokoele and that he responded by calling him a liar. AB then informed him in "a stern and raised voice" that his behaviour was inappropriate, and left.

Marx, who went to the match venue after hearing of the incident, wrote that he told AB that his conduct was unacceptable.

AB allegedly retorted: "The cricket umpires are not gods ... where I come from if an umpire made a bad decision they would take a cricket stump out of the ground and stab him."

AB's children were expelled from Pridwin at the end of last year but their parents were granted an interim order in December instructing the school to allow the children to continue their schooling this year pending judgment in the matter.

The couple's lawyers argue that their children were effectively expelled from Pridwin "for the conduct of their father".

But the school's court papers say the constitution does not afford anyone the right to attend an independent school. "The right to a basic education does not include a right to attend an independent school," the papers say.

The parents declined to speak to the Sunday Times this week.

Marx said he could not comment on the case until judgment had been handed down, but as a general rule banning a parent from a child's school activities was not advisable because this hampered the child's education.

"It is imperative for parents to buy into the education of the child as well as the ethos of the institution they have chosen to educate their child. If parents are disallowed to participate in their child's schooling life, it is ultimately to the detriment of the child," he said.

Judgment in the case has been reserved.

Principals and sports administrators said the Pridwin case was not unique.

Last weekend, a rugby match in Rustenburg between Dr EG Jansen High and Rustenburg High was marred by arguments between parents.

Craig Smith, deputy principal of Dr EG Jansen High, said: "There were players who were sent off the field. I don't know whether the frustrations boiled over to their parents afterwards."

The chairman of Rustenburg High's governing body, Pietman de Villiers, said harsh words had been exchanged between two parents but that another parent had intervened and defused the situation.

Hans Coetzee, rugby coach at Noordheuwel High in Krugersdorp, said the behaviour of parents at rugby matches had deteriorated in recent years.

"It's a big problem and I am really worried. It's also related to the abuse of liquor during schoolboy games. People don't think clearly and make remarks that are inappropriate. If schools don't take strict measures it can get out of hand."

Pretoria psychologist Sigi Graham said: "A parent's behaviour is modelling behaviour for a child, so sometimes what we find is if the parents behave like that, so do the children."

govenderp@sundaytimes.co.za

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